


Adore Life

by Ambassador666



Series: Shinigami Tales [1]
Category: Death Note, Death Note & Related Fandoms, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Coffee, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Comedy, Developing Friendships, Drama, Emotionally Constipated Sasuke, Gen, Kidnapping, Light Is So Done, Misunderstandings, Roommates, Sarcasm, Shinigami Sasuke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2018-11-01 20:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10929480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambassador666/pseuds/Ambassador666
Summary: Light: "You blew up my room."Sasuke shrugs in a 'what can you do' kind of way.





	1. Act 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own "Death Note" or "Naruto". These characters solely belong to Masashi Kishimoto, sugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

-|- 

 

Fact of the Day: A sleepy Sasuke is a senseless Sasuke

 

-|-

 

Sasuke’s on his third cup of coffee by the time To-Oh University opens up and his shift at the library begins. He tips back the plastic cup and swallows a mouthful of bitter liquid, blinking despairingly. _Nap_. He needs a nap.

As he makes it up a flight of stairs, his legs start to shake.

 _Bwuh_.

Sasuke doesn’t fight the scowl that crawls its way onto his face because really, he should have known something was up when the King smiled at him like some sort of sociopathic cat. He doesn’t smile unless he wants people to know that their imminent doom is coming and feeds off of their fear.

He growls inaudible expletives into his coffee. Stepping off the staircase and rounding a corner just in time to spot Sata lurking in corner of his eye like a virgin ghost. 

Sasuke chokes on his coffee in alarm. “ _Fuck_!” his curse come out in an explosion of bubbles and spilt coffee. Soaking his only clean shirt.

  
Sasuke rolls his eyes heavenwards. This was just unacceptable.

“Ah! Ah! _I’m sorry Senpai_!”

Sata comes to his aid in a flurry of emotions. Hands fluttering around in a way that resembles a flustered octopus.

Sasuke slaps the limbs away with an eye twitch. His perpetual scowl expanding into an expression one of a homicidal wet cat. Nothing new but nothing pleasant either. 

A nervous laugh bubbles itself out of Sata’s throat. The younger boy shoves his hands into his pockets to keep them at bay. 

“S-Sorry Senpai! _I-I have a clean shirt you can borrow but it might be too small for you -_ “

Sasuke holds up a twitching hand.

“ _Hn_.”

Sata shoots him a baffled look and faintly asks. “…What?”

“ _No_.” Sasuke says virtuously, which is quite an achievement because his chest is currently smoking up a storm and his body feels like a gentle breeze could knock him over. “Just…” he makes a shoo-ing motion and glowers meaningfully.

“Yeah, I should just…”

Sata scampers away with his tail in-between his legs, and Sasuke tries not to think about how long his little fan must have been skulking outside the library for. And he really tries to not dwell on how low in energy he must be to not have even _sensed_ Sata’s presence.

Sasuke can count on one hand the amount of times somebody’s been able to sneak up on him.

Well, whatever. He’s too tired to give a damn at this point. Right now the only thing to think about is his job.

King said the owner of the rogue Death Note belonging to the equally rogue Shinigami was supposed to be at To-Oh University this year. It wasn’t hard to forge the right documentation to get ‘transferred’ into the school, and it wasn’t hard to apply for a job here to keep up appearances of being human. He’s been at this school for over four months and so far Sasuke hasn’t caught hair-nor-hide of a floating shitty modern art piece on campus. _So far_ Sasuke’s had to spend countless nights, spanning over a month into the new near _overworking_. He’s had to call in backup numerous times to get a working hand in reaping souls, which was a blow to his ego but Sasuke knows when to admit defeat. And Sasuke knows he’s running out of patience to catch this homicidal maniac _Kira_. When Sasuke get’s his hands on him he’s not even gonna sharpen his katana so it’ll make the beheading that much painful -

Sasuke closes his eyes and counts to ten, reigning in the KI he had unconsciously been releasing. _Get a grip on yourself. The quicker you calm down the quicker this job will be over_.

Being a Shinigami wasn’t his idea of spending the afterlife, or to be more precise, the stage between life and death. The redemption part, as the King had told him. 

Although, being in the Black Ops Reaper Squad was a conundrum to him ‘redeeming’ his soul. As the whole point of it was to track down people overusing Death Notes along with rogue Shinigami and ridding them of this world. In other words, BORS kill humans. The irony.

A Black Ops Reaper Agent’s job is to kill the human being who begins to overuse a Death Note before their soul stains, there’s no stopping it once it begins. It’s like a bacteria and the antibiotic is death. If they don’t kill them their soul taints so much it begins to mutate and ends up becoming a warped version of a Shinigami. Something beyond redemption. Well, killing more than a hundred people a week would do that to a soul, Sasuke supposes.

Now, Sasuke isn’t a squeamish guy, but chopping off heads overnight can ruins one’s mood.

“Perk of the job, _my ass_ , Hidan.” Not even trying to reign in his Killer Intent anymore as he unlocks the Staff Door to the library. 

When Sasuke became a Shinigami and joined the Black Ops Reaper Squad, it was a startling and unwanted surprise to find out the Jashinist was his Captain. 

“Fucking _hell_?” Hidan had sworn upon seeing Sasuke. The astonishment, along with dread, was equally mirrored. “The weasel went and _procreated_?”

Sasuke was - and still is - fairly certain he doesn’t want to know.

Of course, Hidan is still a Jashinist, he prays and makes sacrifices (breaking rules Sasuke is certain he would have gotten shoved to hell for if the King wasn’t such a sadistic bastard). Sasuke’s damned well sure Hidan was made captain just to spite him. Because, if it wasn’t clear before, it’s helluva clear now, the world is out to get him.

His life is one big entire cosmic joke. It’s a fricken’ joy! 

And Danzo started it.

“Goddamn _Danzo_.” Sasuke kicks the door closed behind him emphatically. Slapping his half-empty coffee cup on the table and starts to wake the library up. Turning on lights, computers, unlocking the doors, and soon enough he settles into the routine he’s become familiar with since last year.

Done, Sasuke scrubbed a hand through his hair and settled back behind the counter in the Comfy Chair. A viciously smug smirk played his lips. This chair was considered a throne among the staff, as it’s the only one that supports every area of back and buttocks.

This was probably, most likely, the only good thing going for Sasuke today.

  
At that thought, he looked down at his pale blue buttoned up shirt donning a remarkably large murky brown stain. How did it get that big?

Sasuke scowled and wondered if he could get through today without anybody noticing. 

Heh. _No._

He rubs the palm of his hands into his eyes, far too comfortable and tired to get up to try and wash the stain out. And it is a stain. Very much a stain. No use in trying when it’s already there for _life_.

  
…Since when did he become such a pessimist?

Oh, wait, he knows. It was when Itachi wiped out their entire clan then tricked him into killing him in some sort of sacrificial ‘redemption’ (he’s sensing a theme here with damaged Uchiha’s and redemption) thing _then_ revealed that he wasn’t some crazy homicidal lunatic that woke up one morning and thought ‘let’s kill the Clan!’ without thinking that, well, maybe, _probably_ , that this is a Bad Idea. Sasuke almost felt bad for him. Almost.

He did kill people. A lot, of people. Not that Sasuke can talk though. But still!

...Okay, maybe he has some unresolved issues. Maybe. _Probably_.

  
At least he knows where he gets the pessimism from, and nobody cam blame him for it.

Leaning forwards Sasuke sniffs at the stain, humming at the smell of bitter coffee.

It was then that his momentary stature of peace was mercilessly skewered like a kebab.

“ _Eugh_ , who smells like shitty coffee?” The sharp, crude, tone of his boss had Sasuke twisting around with a growl threatening to burst.

Fujita. Ayame. 29. Average intelligence. Bleached blonde. Busty. Pain in the rear. Always late and treats him like he’s her little annoying brother and Sasuke _hates it._ It adds fuel to the fire for him needing to finish this job quickly - because he’s pretty sure one more pat on the head like he’s some sort of pet dog will cause somebody’s head to go flying. Not metaphorically, but literally.

He’s become disturbingly adept at beheading.

Semantics.

Ayame slides up to where Sasuke’s sitting - bending over, Sasuke can _hear_ her leather pants strain - and takes a big whiff. 

She weeps.

“Hot damn, you reek!”

“Hn.”

“Still with that ‘ _hngh’_ huh?” Ayame asked, as she settled herself in. Putting her motorcycle helmet away and dropping down on the other seat. Staring in envy at his claim of the Comfy Chair. 

It makes Sasuke’s insides fill with glee. 

“Well, then. If you’re not gonna talk then I may as well will.” Ayame rests her elbows on the counter and perches her head in her hands. Manicured nails glinting in light of the room. 

“The other’s aren’t coming until nine when your classes begin so it’s just you and me!” She says brightly.

Ah.

“So, you know my American friend Tina right? That bitch?”

“Hn.” Because Sasuke isn’t quite sure what else to say to that.

“Well, that bit – “ 

He blocks her rant out with the practiced ease of being teammates with a loud blonde and irritating pink thing.

Reaching for his half-emptied cup of coffee, Sasuke glances at the woman who’s projecting all sorts of insults about somebody he’s confident he has never met before, and strangely enough it reminds him of Sakura ranting about ‘Ino Pig’.

It makes Sasuke scowl at the motionless library before him.

-|-


	2. Act 2

 

-|-

 

Fact of the Day: A sleepy Sasuke is a senseless Sasuke

 

-|-

He was loading up a cart full of returned books when Ayame went to smack the back of his head. Sasuke dodges it easily, twisting his body and blocking the hit with the cover of Shakespeare's Biography. Sasuke gives her his best, unimpressed glare.

She huffs.

"You're polluting the air with your stench, it's making me ill. Shoo, go change or clean up whatever. Come back with a different smell." Ayame says, apparently serious.

Sasuke snorts.

"Honest! You're threatening my health." As if to prove a point she coughs.

"Just die."

"I hate you. That's the first thing you say to me all day. Your heart is cold Sasuke, so cold. You're gonna end up alone and unmarried with no grandchildren to bother. You'll be the grumpy old man on the street yelling at kids to get off your lawn with a walking stick. I pity you Sasuke. I _pity_." She said, shaking her head despairingly.

"Hn."

"Okay, enough chit-chat." Ayame snaps. "Go change."

Sasuke glares in protest.

"No, I'm being serious. I hate coffee. Detest the stuff and your presence is just – " She scrunches up her nose.

"Fine." He snaps.

Ayame gives his shoulder a comforting pat. She has a death wish.

"Do you have any spare shirts to change into? You're no boy scout."

Sasuke's perpetual scowl intensifies.

"Ah, well, you could borrow one of mine?"

He growls.

Ayame gives him this sickly sweet smile with the tilt of the head. "I'm only joking."

"Hn." Sasuke turns to face her, waving a hand to continue.

Her eyes crease into a melancholy smile. "I used to babysit this cute kid when I was back in high-school. Our mothers kept in touch, and as a result we did too. He goes here now and told me yesterday that he's having a tennis match against his new friend this afternoon. Unfortunately I can't go cause I don't really give two shits about sport." She shrugs. "He might have packed an extra shirt, and if you're lucky and _nice enough_ ," she pressures him with an intense look. Sasuke just gives her an absolutely fake smile.

Her expression falters at that.

"On second thought, keep the scowl and never do that around me again. Never do that around anyone again. Okay, if you're… _pleasant_? Not so, _unique_? Or, _vindictive_? Or _moody_?" What was this pick on Sasuke day? Oh wait, that was every day. "Hmm, should you be quiet? No, wait, you need to actually _speak_ to ask him to borrow a shirt." She levels a look at him. "Sasuke, you can ask him nicely without any backhanded insults to his personality, right?"

Sasuke gave her a long-suffering stare, wasn't she doing that to him right now?

What a hypocrite.

Oi, he can be nice!

"Oh my God, don't look at me like that you can be nice." Wow, he must be spending way too much time with Ayame if she can recognize his microscopic change in expression. It reminded him of Naruto. _Goddammit stop thinking about them_. "You're never nice. You're the epitome of brood and your past life was probably spent as a psychopathic cat that judged people and was unsatisfied a whole lot."

"Rude."

Ayame pauses for a second. "Gah! Stop it with these single words! It's infuriating."

"Hn."

"And that sound!" She points in frustration; ignoring the students hissing at her like a couple of fudged off snakes.

Sighing, Ayame takes a breath and jabs a finger at his stain.

"The droid you are looking for is Yagami Light, a pretty looking guy - a typical 'nice guy' so you'll probably get lucky and get the shirt. If not, steal it." _Cool._ "He'll be at the tennis courts in, ah, twenty minutes. He'll probably arrive early or something, wait, no he'll be there on time, he doesn't believe in practice, so…" She flings a hand towards the exit. "Now shoo. Thanks to your new _cologne_ I cannot only sense your bitter personality but smell it too! You're infecting my aura."

" _Let it."_ Sasuke ends up snarling, plainly annoyed, and stalks out of the room. Behind him he hears her shout desperately.

"Don't mention my name or he'll come and visit me! I don't want to deal with his already rabid fan girls! For fucks sake he's been here _one week_."

-|-

It took a few awkward short-lived conversations to find the exact location of the tennis match. Apparently this Light guy and his friend were some kind of geniuses that got a perfect score on the entrance exam. Resulting in their booming popularity.

Finally, he spots the tennis courts. Instantly his eyes scan the area for Yagami Light, brain chanting the mantra Ayame used to describe him: 'pretty looking'.

Pretty looking, pretty looking, pretty looking, pretty looking –

Ah!

…Oh. _Oh_.

Well.

Sasuke's heavy gaze lands on the grim creature floating besides Yagami's shoulder like a gothic balloon animal.

Shinigami.

The guy Ayame babysitted is _Kira_.

A smile carves at his lips and he tilts his head backwards. Sasuke was a little thrown, in a good way though.

He chuckles, baffled by the seemingly optimistic turn of events. What an unexpected win.

And if that wasn't a warning sign that something terrible was about to happen he doesn't know what is. His life had a penchant for ruining good things going for him. And this, coincidentally finding Kira, _this_ was a good thing.

Nope. _No_.

Sasuke had half a mind to turn on his heel and pretend he didn't see the Shinigami eye sore. Because last time a good thing was going for him his heart was skewered by Madara and he ended up becoming a Shinigami. Captained under _Hidan._

Sasuke huffs and stops himself from finding reasons to procrastinate on this when his target was _right there_. Scrawny, open and _human_. It was too good to be true. _It is too good to be true this was a trap! The universe is playing with me again –_

God, he was not getting paranoid. Absolutely not. He's not that pathetic.

He rubs at his droopy eyes. Clearly the lack of sleep was getting to him and causing him to have an overactive imagination. _Clearly,_ because right now he was being incredibly stupid.

Target. Right there. _Go!_ Behead the bastard and get this over with before _something terrible happens like it always does gooooo!_

Sasuke shoots off leaving a trail of dust flying after him. Steamrolling right over common sense.

He might have overreacted a little. Might have. Maybe. _Probably._

_Definitely._

Because he's suddenly _there_ besides Yagami, his katana summoned to an open palm, ghostly blade glinting dangerously in the morning sun, about to slice through the boy's neck….

It's when Yagami's eyes connect with his that common sense slaps itself back into existence.

He has regrets.

And this was one of them.

The summoning stops and Sasuke just sort of wishes he could disappear into thin air. Oh, which he could do, quite proficiently, but right now he has a conscience again so Sasuke settles for growling instead.

The Yagami boy makes a vague sound of alarm and Sasuke belatedly realizes that he's currently breathing into his ear.

Apart of him wants to blame Danzo for this, even though he's long since dead and doesn't even exist in this world. To be fair though, everything that's ever gone wrong for Sasuke leads back to Danzo. _That bastard._

The sensible part of him is currently grasping at straws to try and figure out what to say.

Though seriously, how can anybody say something sensible after popping up out of nowhere and growling into someone's ear?

You can't.

Content with resigning to his worse streak of bad luck to date, Sasuke steps back, stares blankly. Says, "pretty boy, I need your shirt." And closes his eyes for a second in self-pity. _Wow._ He's worse than Naruto around Sakura.

_Stop thinking about them they're gone._

Yagami just stares at him in silence, eyes a fraction wide and lips parted. Speechless.

Also looking a tiny bit violated.

Sasuke ignores all of this and continues to act like a well-adjusted individual that did not just growl into a stranger's ear as a way of greeting. He was nothing if not persistent.

A few more seconds of shocked silence pass where nothing else is said in return.

_Does he expect me to apologize?_

Sasuke makes a face.

"Ayame sent me." He tattles damningly, shoving the responsibility of this traumatizing ordeal onto her.

Yagami stops staring at him like he's on crack.

Ah, they seem to be on much firmer ground.

"Of course she did." Light laughs wearily and begins to seem rather flustered as he drifts away from their rather intimate position.

Regaining his composure, Yagami smiles. Warm and disarming. It makes Sasuke blink violently at how fake yet natural it looks. Well, he has talent; he'll give him that.

It was when their eyes meet for a second time, though, that his brain feels like it had been hit by a sledgehammer.

His eyes were sharp and clever; shrouded behind faux innocence.

It's almost enough to make Sasuke look up to the heavens and ask. "Really? Another megalomaniac genius? How did this sound like a good idea?"

Powerful geniuses that try to change the world end up ruining it in more ways Team Seven can butcher a C rank mission. Changing the world, only ends up making it suffer more.

He's talking from personal experience on both parts.

Honestly, Sasuke feels like he's doing something right for once in his pitiful existence by wiping Yagami Light off the face of the earth.

What the boy's doing is admirable, but careless. Mass murder isn't exactly the best way to go about preaching for peace and justice. Maybe if Yagami had gotten some much-needed therapy before picking up the Death Note he would have lived to see another day and Sasuke could have slept for the past four months.

 _Bwuh_.

Finally, the Shinigami glances in Sasuke's direction.

Eyes bug, jaw drops and it makes a strangled choking sound of utter dismay. It makes Sasuke feel all tingly inside. Really, that says a lot about his personality doesn't it?

And oh, Yagami is _good_. Not a twitch or flicker in emotion. Which…kinda pisses him off.

That says even more about his personality.

"Did you just say you wanted my shirt?" Yagami asks, a bemused smile tipping at his lips. Eyes zeroing in on his ghastly coffee stain.

"Hn." Sasuke confirms with a head bob.

Eyebrows rise at the lack of proper wording, and the boy half-laughs with an apologetic look. "Sorry, I only have the one shirt."

Thank God he can leave now.

Yagami's gaze slides past his shoulders. A slightly vindictive gleam appears.

Oh no.

"But Ryuga-san might have brought an extra one with him."

Sasuke twists around to follow his gaze. It lands on a man with posture worse than Kakashi's and circles so dark under the eyes they resemble bruises.

"I might have brought an extra what, Light-kun?" The man asks in a low drawl, tennis racket lazily perched on one shoulder. His dark eyes slink over to him and against his will; Sasuke lets out a frustrated groan.

Woohoo, _another_ genius.

It's like all his bad luck has banned together to turn his existence into a living hell. Which, all things considered, is quite an achievement. Sasuke's thought he'd seen everything.

Apparently he was wrong and this -

This.

 _This was just unacceptable_.

"Light-kun, I don't think your friend likes me."

"He's not my friend." Yagami's quick to dispute. Sending Sasuke a rather unique look, cheeks tinted with second-hand embarrassment. And it's all so infuriatingly _fake_ Sasuke let out a low growl. Because screw ethics. This whole day's a train-wreck.

"Did-did you just _growl_?" Yagami asks, faintly disturbed.

Ryuga stares. Bewildered and slightly curious.

"Ryuga-san, you don't happen to have an brought extra shirt he could borrow?" Yagami asks, finding it in his best interest to move this conversation along so Sasuke could leave and _never return_.

"No, Light-kun I have not."

"Wait, so you're going to play in that?" He sweeps a hand at Ryuga's improper baggy attire. "Won't you get sweaty or trip?"

Ryuga cocks his head. "Are you worried it would put me at a disadvantage, Light-kun?"

"I'm not doubting your abilities, Ryuga-san – hang on, where did he go?"

The two turned to where an unhappy man stood not moment ago, dust in the air.

-|-

When he gets back to the library, all Sasuke can do it sit down and bash his head against the desk. Ayame stares damningly.

"Oh god what did you do?"

For a split second Sasuke contemplates if he's being a bit melodramatic. But then he remembers _what happened_ and decides that no, he's being perfectly reasonable.

There's a moment of silence and then.

"Oh god _what did you do_?"

-|-


	3. Act 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Hidan swears a lot.

-|-

 

Fact of the Day: Sasuke hates Light

 

-|-

"Oi, have you found the heathen bastard, yet?"

Sasuke squints over the brim of his cup. It takes a couple of seconds to register - through the foggy haze that has become his mind - what Hidan had said. Ever since the unfortunate… _encounter_ with Kira, he's been sullenly zoned out.

It showed.

"Goddammit, you little shit, have you been pulling all-nighters again?"

Sasuke gives a noncommittal sound at the back of his throat, which quickly turns into a wordless cry of exasperation when Hidan inelegantly jumps onto his desk. Planting himself in front of Sasuke.

With practiced ease, Sasuke ignores the hiss of studying students.

"What the hell're you thinking?" Hidan growls in his face. "Remember last time you were tired on the job? You sent a _Buddhist_ to _hell_!"

Oh, Sasuke remembers. It hurts to even think about it.

"He was alright in the end." Sasuke mulishly grumbles.

Hidan's eyes light up like a malevolent Christmas tree.

"The _fuck_ he was!" He bitches. "When we finally managed to pull the unlucky bastard out he looked like he went toe to toe against some majorly pissed off God and tragically _lost_! The he _cried_. On. Me. Then he vomited. _On. Me_." Leaving a terrible pause between two words.

"I remember."

"Oh do you now?" He snarls viciously. "Because I don't think you do if you're up all night doing work."

"Some people would call that being productive."

" _Fuck_ productivity! When you don't sleep you make the decisions of a dumbass _twelve year old_."

"At twelve years old I was considered to become a Chunnin."

"At twelve years old you prostituted yourself to Orochimaru _you little shit_."

Sasuke falls silent at that. Feeling both indignant and reluctantly shameful.

He briefly closes his eyes. "I have regrets."

"Well." Hidan snorts. Grin sour. "At least you're self aware."

"Self-aware. Yeah," grumbles Sasuke. Taking a long gulp of his coffee to wet his suddenly dry throat. He didn't like to be reminded of his mistakes. It made him think. It makes him conjure up unrealistic 'what if' scenarios that keep him awake at two in the morning mourning people who are alive in another world.

"Oi! Have you found the Godless asshole? King hasn't checked up on the investigation for a while and it's making almost wet myself in dreaded anticipation."

A sly smile slid over Sasuke's face. He enjoys the way Hidan's expression froze.

"You've got to be shitting me. _Finally_?" He sounds delighted.

"Hn."

"Ugh. I could kiss you!"

Sasuke is utterly aghast. "Please don't."

-|-

"What a plain fucking house." Hidan notes in a swooping gesture. "You're sure this is the right address? 'cause this cannot be the place where a mass murderer lives. His family _cannot_ be that well-adjusted."

Sasuke glances at the address he'd written on his palm. The kanji was a little smudged but he could still read it.

He gives a head nod.

" _Shit_." Hidan tips his head back a fraction, glaring at the house. "Jashin-sama's gonna be pissed I can't sacrifice this guy."

"Hn." Sasuke grunts helpfully.

There was a dull ring and Hidan swore. Flipping out the company's phone all Captains were required to carry. Pressing accept the man waves at Sasuke and says; "go forth and behead the shitty heathen."

Sasuke nods, leaping over Yagami's hedge and with the casual grace of a cat, lands silently on their target's windowsill. Picks the lock and slinks into the young man's bedroom.

Yagami's room isn't anything interesting. In fact, it was so disinteresting Sasuke had a nagging urge to disregard it completely.

The room has no hint of a teenage boy ever living in it. No band posters, no video games, no manga, it was stripped bare of anything that would give away a hint of his personality.

 _If he even has one_.

Now, where was Yagami hiding the Death Note?

Scanning the room, Sasuke flipped through the bookshelf, patted down the bed, before finally opening the desk draws. There lying for all the world to see was the notebook of death.

Sasuke takes back everything nice he had to say about Yagami. The boy was an idiot.

Pulling out the desk chair, he flops in it and waits.

-|-

Ryuk's silent.

He has been for the past eight hours.

Light glances at the Shinigami, careful not to draw attention from his mother and Sayu.

Silent.

_What's wrong with him?_

Sighing, Light unlocks the front door, toing off his shoes and asks his mother if he could do anything to help. Light could see her struggling with emotions, and for the first time since he's picked up the Death Note, Light felt helpless.

"It's alright, dear." She says lightly, patting his shoulders gently as though he'd keel over at the slightest touch before running a soothing hand over Sayu's hair. Sayu normally would have shrieked or thrown a little fit at being coddled, but she didn't seem to notice the touch. Eyes glazed over in a far away look. Light flexes his fingers in a need for movement. They've been this way ever since leaving Dad at the hospital. "It's alright." Mum repeats in reassurance, voice sounding so distant.

"Are you sure?" He prodded.

His mother turns her head away from him for a second, eyes closed tightly. "Yes, dear. I'm sure. Go help your sister to her room."

Apart of him didn't want to leave her alone because his mother obviously wasn't okay and he's heard people who suffer from trauma shouldn't be left alone. Almost losing dad to a heart attack could be seen as trauma - studying the way Sayu hadn't blinked in a while.

Light couldn't help the deep unease that seeped itself into his heart as he watched the way his mother walk to the kitchen to prepare dinner. He didn't like this feeling. He didn't know how to handle foreign emotions. It was frightening and new and _he didn't know how to handle it._

"Okay." He concedes with a small nod, pulling his mind towards the Death Note and ignoring the _feelings_. Gently pressing a hand against Sayu's back, Light steers her towards the stairs. She rocks slightly at the touch but follows without a word. She's so quiet…

The tightening in his heart thumps and Light feels momentarily off-balance. He shakes his head, leading Sayu to her room and leaves her standing in the doorway awkwardly as slides the schoolbag off her skinny shoulders.

 _She should eat more_ , he absently notes and takes out her homework, planting it on her desk along with colourful pens he has no idea why she needs. About to leave, Light dithers, hand sliding into his pocket and pulling out a chocolate bar Ryuga– _L_ had handed him in the hospital before he left. Apologizing about his father, as though he had some part to blame for him being there. _Maybe he did_. And for some unknown reason that made him clench his hands into fists, frustrated and furious.

Light grits his teeth. Deciding to blame his sudden stroke of bad luck today on that weird guy that breathed in his ear.

"Here." He said, handing the chocolate bar to Sayu with the flick of the wrist.

Finally, she blinks. Gaze sliding to it blankly. Seconds pass and she makes no move to take it. Sighing, Light plants it firmly in her tiny hand. Sealing it with a pat.

"Eat this, it'll make you feel better." He echoes Ryu- _L_ 's earlier sentiments to him. She nods, and Light's not quite certain she heard him. He smiles anyway. "Don't worry, Dad'll be fine."

"How can you know that?" She asks, voice barely above a whisper as he leaves.

Light pretends to not have heard her.

-|-

The last thing Light expects when he walks into his room is to be staring down the end of a katana.

What?

"Yagami Light, to grant your soul passage to heaven, I will kill you now and save your corrupt soul. The twenty-seventh Shinigami King apologizes for any inconveniences this may create."

_What?_

"What? Shinigami King? Corrupt soul- _who the heck are you_?"

There was a bark of laughter above him and Light grits his teeth in pure _aggravation_. Oh, now he makes sound. Of course he'd chose to break the silent treatment the moment Light's in mortal danger.

"Hehehe, you're new aren't you?" Ryuk asks giddily. "I don't remember you."

 _This person's a Shinigami then_. Light narrows his eyes as he reflects on what the person – _Shinigami_ , had said.

'Yagami Light, to grant your soul passage to heaven, I will kill you now and save your corrupt soul. The twenty-seventh Shinigami King apologizes for any inconveniences this may create.'

Ryuk did mention that a person in possession of a Death Note could neither go to heaven or hell. Light had originally assumed the Shinigami to be messing with him. Or testing him. He's never been particularly religious, but now…

A chill went down his spine as more things clicked together. Manifensting into a horrific puzzle piece.

Death Notes corrupt souls. They _infest_ it. And here's a Shinigami, telling him that if he wants to go to Heaven he'll have to die. Now.

 _But I have so many plans_.

What if he refuses? Can he refuse? If he can, does that mean when he does die in the future he'll go to hell?

"Hn."

There was a bemused pause, and Light's eyebrows climbed.

_Oh you've got to be kidding._

"You?" Light says in a deadpan. " _You're_ a Shinigami?"

"Hn."

The clarification does nothing to ease his mind. The guy who breathed in his ear is a Shinigami. The guy who breathed in his ear is going to kill him. And funnily enough, Light isn't panicking.

Maybe it's because of prolonged exposure to Ryuk. Maybe it's because L's breathing down his neck. Maybe it's because of the abrupt insomnia he's developing as the threat of going to prison and being given the death sentence is looming over him 24/7 . Either way.

It's been a long day.

And he really doesn't feel like kicking the bucket anytime soon. He's got plans. The God of the new world will live to see peace. Until that's achieved, he'll gladly risk going hell.

Composing himself and pushing all worries to the back of his mind, Light smiles. Linking his fingers together to keep them from shaking.

Right, time to bargain with a Shinigami. This'll be fun.

"If you think you're going to live to see sunrise your brain must be the size of a pea."

_Shit._

Light doesn't so much as twitch – to some he'd look awfully confident, but really, his brain hiccuped. It's when Ryuk begins to cackle like a broken wind up toy that Light starts to quickly register his dire situation.

The katana swerves dangerously towards Ryuk. Leaving a thin, barely visible cut across Light's jugular. Shit. He didn't even notice it was against his skin in the first place.

"Same goes for you Picasso."

Light lets out a slightly hysterical giggle before catching himself and saying. "I refuse."

The pressure in the room rises, constricting oxygen and Light swears he saw the shadows move.

"Maa, Light I don't think you can refuse death." Ryuk mutters happily (he's probably enjoying this) into his ear and Light feels a spark of jealousy at how relaxed the Shinigami is. Does he know something he doesn't? That's likely the case.

A smidgen of hope rises within him. If there's one thing Light's certain about at this very moment is that Ryuk's selfish. He wouldn't let himself get killed, and he wouldn't let his only source of entertainment get killed.

One time. He'll put his faith in Ryuk just this once, because Light's also selfish – he's not naïve - and he won't give up his goal for a world without crime. This world needs him to reign as their God, whether they want it or not.

A snort comes from the shadows.

"Listen to the defector." Light's ears perk up. _Defector?_ Ryuk's a defector? Shinigami can _defect_? From wha - _are Shinigami an organization?_ "I'm not here to negotiate. I'm here to do my damn job which _you_." The katana swings back to him, pressing against the cut. Light grits his teeth with unease. Okay, this was bad. There is now a very high percentage of him not getting out of this alive. "Have made me _detest_."

Light winces at the genuine animosity being shoved in his direction.

Oh great. The guy hates him. There's little hope for negotiating now. The Shinigami was _biased_.

"This isn't exactly fair." He says thoughtlessly, wincing again when the katana presses forwards an inch. Warm blood trickles down his neck, making him feel ill at the mental image of it slashing his throat in any given second.

"Do you know what else isn't _fair_?" The God hisses, stepping towards him and coming into the murky light. Thankfully the weapon stays where it is and doesn't skewer him. "Doing overtime every. Single. _Fucking_. Night," Light doesn't flinch at the cruel scowl that could make little children cry, because he's far too fascinated by the fact that the Shinigami was still wearing his coffee stained shirt. _Huh_."For the past four _months_ because _you_ , don't understand the word ' _enough'_."

_…'Enough'?_

And then Light sags, energy leaving his body at seeing the clean rage on the Shinigami's face.

Directed at him.

He's angry _at him_ for making him do overtime. For what? Reaping souls? So there is a Shinigami organization? No. Light leans his head against the door. He's too tired to dissect that.

He glances at the now silent Ryuk. All hope vanished.

 _Hope_? He mentally snorts, apparently hope's for suckers.

There's no negotiating, there's no manipulating. He's going to die. Just like that. So quick. So final.

His eyes roll heavenwards. He's going up there? Does he even deserve that? If nothing else, Light is honest, with himself that is. And his ego isn't nearly big enough to convince himself that he's an all out 'good guy'.

He doesn't empathize, he lies, he cheats, he manipulates and since the end of last year, he's murdered. Becoming the self-proclaimed youngest serial killer in history. All in the name of good, because the world is rotting and he's the cure. He's purifying the world.

He was going to save people.

Something he'd originally thought impossible. How can a liar save people? By being a Policeman? Light's personally watched the dirtiest people get away with horrific crimes because their justice system is flawed. He's watched his father come home weary and defeated after cases being lost because some piece of evidence was 'not enough'. So many times he's watched that play out. Traumatized victims being accused for lying, being called trash and ending up so so alone.

And here the Shinigami was asking him, ironically, whether he understood what 'enough' means. He does, but he also understands what 'not enough' is.

"Do you accept your fate?"

"Does my opinion matter?"

"No."

The weight on his neck releases and out the corner of his eye he see's the katana glint in the moonlight as it rises. Is he going to slit his neck? What a messy way to die.

Stubbornly, Light forces himself to meet the Shinigami's gaze. It smiles, grinning viciously.

He hears the sword cut the air as it swings down with such ferocity Light barely has time to flinch when it descends upon him.

Within a blink, he's staring at a back.

_What?_

Light cranes his head around the new arrival and he can feel his eyes widen and mouth drop.

The man was holding the Shinigami's katana in-between his fingers like they were nothing but a pair of chopsticks.

"Change of plans." The man, most likely another Shinigami, says.

_What?_

And suddenly Light is hit by the fact that he isn't going to die. Also how incredibly beneficial it would be to have one of these Shinigami on his side. If one of them believed in his cause, L would be nothing but an empty corpse. The thought made him smirk savagely.

-|-


	4. Act 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own "Death Note" or "Naruto". These characters solely belong to Masashi Kishimoto, sugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

-|-

 

Fact of the Day: Light's 100% done with everything (Sasuke low-key agrees).

 

-|-

"Change of plans."

Sasuke almost drops his katana.

" _What?_ " He hisses, almost falling into snake dialectal.

The defected Shinigami began to giggle again and Hidan had to quickly hold Sasuke by the shoulders to keep him from slicing its head off. (No matter how much he'd _love_ to see King reprimand Sasuke for breaking the rules instead of him for once.)

"King doesn't want me to die, eh?"

Sasuke stops struggling, head whipping to glower at Hidan emphatically.

"It seems," Hidan seethes, mutually pissed. "That _Ryuk_ and King know each other _pretty fucking well_. King was the one who gave Ryuk an extra Death Note 'cause he 'asked politely' and promised to put it to 'good use'. Fucker. Grilling me about breaking rules when he goes and does something utterly reckless like that." His violet eyes twist around to stare at the suspiciously calm human in the room. Sasuke raises an eyebrow to himself, not a couple of seconds ago he was paler than Ryuk. It says a lot when one's paler than death. "You've been butchering my sacrifices you godless heathen."

"Seems like it." Yagami nods, unperturbed. His eyes swing to Sasuke and back again. "You're his superior?"

Sasuke scowls, as though the very notion disgusts him. "Hn."

"Oi!" Hidan ignores Yagami and sends Sasuke a miserable look. "I heard you not moments ago speaking _sentences_ to the sinner. I thought you reserved that for me!" Sasuke gives a suspicious look at the all-knowing gleam in Hidan's eyes. "Because you love me!"

What a terrifying thought.

Sasuke's left eye twitches. "Hell no."

Hidan has this look. Torn between amusement and anguish at being rejected so quickly. "Oi. Don't just go blurting it out like that you little shit! Think about it first!"

"I thought you were joking."

"I was! But now you've gone and hurt my pride. It's not like I'm an undatable guy."

_No. That's exactly what you are._

"Maybe." Yagami interrupts, voice deceptively hiding his sheer disbelief at watching two deities squabbling like they were prepubescent teenagers. " _Just maybe_ , you two could give me a clear explanation as to why one of you was about to slit my throat? I have a vague impression, but I want to be sure."

There was a short silence. In it, both Hidan and Sasuke share baleful eye contact.

"You're pretty confident for a human." Hidan declares, and in a blur of motion he has his scythe hooked around Light's neck. "Aren't you afraid I might kill you?"

Light has the gall to roll his eyes, unaffected by the terrorizing act - which was Hidan's whole personality, truthfully – and scoffs.

Sasuke cocks his head to the side, considering his intelligence and decides: not too bright.

"You just stopped your friend here from slitting my throat and to quote, 'change of plans' - which i take it - means to not kill me. I'm confident I'll be seeing sunrises for the foreseeable future." Light deadpans.

"Beheading, actually." Sasuke adds, helpfully. Giving him a little shrug. "Close enough."

Light blinks at that, hand unconsciously reaching for his throat.

"Why decapitation, though?" He asks, genuinely curious.

Hidan's mouth opens and shuts.

"Well shit. That's a surprisingly good question." He turns to Sasuke, who grunts his agreement. Beheading was – for some awful reason, reserved for their section only. It's brutal and overkill but…that's their King's personality, so they really shouldn't be that surprised.

For Shinigami in other sections, they mark souls with runes, which automatically transports them to the gateway where they meet other reapers who escort them to their chosen religious afterlife. Such a healthy method - boring, but healthy.

"One of which we have no fucking clue how to answer" - sending Sasuke a conspiratorial wink – "and even if we did, we wouldn't tell you."

Light has an inkling as to why. "And why's that?"

"We don't like you."

His inkling was correct.

"Fair enough." He appeases. "I take it beheading is how you reap souls then?"

"Okay," grumbles Hidan, making a face. "Firstly, no more questions. Secondly," he turns to Sasuke. "You have a new assignment."

Sasuke sags. Finally, no more library duty, no more University, no more undercover stakeouts, no more paying rent and tax!

"You have to stay and watch Yagami. Write about everything he does that's interesting. King's finding this whole Kira versus L bullcrap-of-a-situation thoroughly entertaining and wants you to keep a diary so he can keep it for future reading."

Sasuke looks wretched.

"Don't stare at me like I just kicked a puppy! It's your own damn fault for making such an elaborate identity. You're already integrated in the University, you work at the library, you already own an apartment, you seem to know him pretty well – "

"He almost _beheaded_ me"

"I breathed in his ear!"

" – you have the perfect vantage point to stalk him!" Hidan ends sadistically. Oh, he was enjoying this.

Sasuke's scowl goes deeper. There was a large part of him wishfully thinking about how good it'd feel to run his blade through Yagami's neck right now. If his limbs didn't feel like they were filled with cotton balls he would have.

"Stalk me?" Light protests immediately. Expression sour.

Ryuk wheezes out a laugh. "You're pretty popular Light. Having the Shinigami King as an admirer must make you blush."

The sour expression turns considerate. _Could I somehow use King to my advantage?_

"Oh you kinky little bastard." Hidan breathes. Scandalized. "Got a thing for Shinigami, eh?"

" _What?_ "

"No." Sasuke grimly grunts, interrupting Yagami's spluttering (which he will later on deny. Violently.). "I _refuse_."

Ryuk laughs loud and boisterous. The tables have turned. "You can't deny death, newbie. Especially the King of it." Repeating his words to Light earlier.

"Let's get one thing clear. I've done my part." He sighs, looking very pale and tired. "I've done everything. I set up a home base, I file weekly reports, I went undercover, I got a job, I did overtime – I've _done overtime_ for the entirety of this fucking mission. I deserve a goddamn break!" He grits his teeth. "I'm leaving."

There was silence.

"Oi, wait." Hidan asks dubiously. "You're leaving?"

Sasuke gives him a long cool look. " _I'm leaving_."

Hidan twists his scythe around Yagami, resting it idly on his shoulder. "You'll disobey your King?"

_He's never been my King._

"Hn."

A cruel smile stretches the man's face. "Back to sounds then, eh?"

"If you two are going to fight, take it outside." Says Light, a touch testy but intrigued at watching two Shinigami fight. A good opportunity to gauge their strengths and weaknesses.

"Ahh, calm ya titties young heathen." Hidal dismisses, eyeing Sasuke and quirking his head. "We're not gonna fight."

Sasuke gazes at him, eyes dark, intense and determined. He takes a step back, watching the way Hidan doesn't move. Not seemingly inclined to fight unless he has to.

"Law Fourteen. Section D." Sasuke says as he reaches into the draw.

Light straightens. Alarmed. "Wait."

"If an Agent is not able to provide physical evidence of a completed mission, target's Death Note can be substituted in its place." He grips Yagami's Death Note, and lifts.

"Wait don't - !"

There's a click. Sasuke feels a zap. _Jerks_.

And everything's engulfed in flames.

-|-

"Well that was anticlimactic." Hidan notes in disappointment.

 _I knew today was going be a massive fuck up_ , Sasuke thinks, a smidgen smug at knowing he was right. _I knew it._

The three of them are standing outside Yagami's burning house. Hidan and Light watching in utter puzzlement at the chaos, wondering how this had happened and where they went wrong. Meanwhile Sasuke spat out a curse as he patted down another flame on his shoulder.

The explosive in the draw couldn't have started anything more than a little house fire. Minimal damage at best…if Sasuke wasn't in the room that is. Dear God, he honestly did not mean to accidentally send off a Katon jutsu.

Chakra infused fire plus normal fire equals big boom.

Patting down the last flame, Sasuke looks up at the dreaded scene of a house fire.

_…what an exceptional stroke of bad luck._

"You blew up my room."

Sasuke shrugs in a 'what can you do' kind of way.

"Be grateful I carried your skinny ass out instead of letting you roast like a marshmallow." Hidan spat, scratching his nose. "Besides it's your own damned fault."

" _How?_ " Light asks incredulously. For once not caring that his perfect mask was slipping. It had been one heck of a long day. There was the tennis match, talking to L, his father's heart attack, almost getting killed by a Shinigami, and finally, his room blowing up. Quite understandably, he was reaching his breaking point. "How is this my fault?"

Hidan squinted at him. "You planted a _bomb_ in your _bedroom_ ," he said slowly. "How did you think this was going to end? _Happily_?"

Ryuk snorts. " _Hehehe_. He's got you there."

Light glowers at the three Shinigami. Absolutely fed up. "Yes, actually." He turns away. Finding the more he stared at them the more his annoyance grew. "There was a trick with a pen to keep it from _blowing up_."

Sasuke's eyebrows disappear into his hairline.

"…It sounds worse saying it out loud." Light begrudgingly admits after an awkward pause of silence.

Hidan guffaws. "No shit."

-|-

"Light!" A woman yells, rushing towards her son with glassy eyes. "Oh thank God you're alright." She immediately starts patting him down for any injuries. "You're not hurt are you? How did you get out? The firemen just managed to save Sayu, she's in shock - the paramedics are treating her now."

Light smiles gently, catching his mother's hands in his own. "I'm fine." He says, gazing over her shoulder to catch the two Shinigami shuffling. The silver-haired one tugs the other one off to the side, Ryuk floating with them.

_What are they doing?_

-|-

A mission assignment was limply hanging in Hidan's grasp. Sasuke eyes it nervously.

"Just take the damn thing!"

Scowling, Sasuke snatches file and flicks through, summarizes it and comes to the devastating conclusion that he is supposed to babysit the sociopathic brat.

He eyes Hidan in utter contempt. Hidan merely smiles back sweetly.

Sasuke plots murder.

"Oi! Ugly." Hidan turns to Ryuk.

Ryuk points at himself in an innocent 'who, me?' kind of way.

"Yes," Hidan grumbles. "You. King wants to see you."

The Shinigami's mouth carves a horrific smile.

-|-

Light's mother scoffs. " _Alright?!_ That must be the adrenaline. It can mess with your senses, lets get you checked out." She insists, tugging him towards the parked ambulance on the sidewalk. Light doesn't budge, being checked out by paramedics was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Mum, honestly I'm okay."

"No you're not! You're shaking."

"That's you." He rubs her trembling hands.

"Oh, yes. It seems you're right." She says, voice wrecked. "You're room's gone."

He glances accusingly at the singed perpetrator. "I know."

"Burnt up."

"Quite thoroughly."

"Your room just _exploded_ out of _nowhere_. I was cooking dinner and _boom_." His mother remembers in distraught. "Plaster from the roof falls in the soup." Her eyes met his seriously. "Your soup's ruined."

Light sighs.

"Where will you sleep?" She asks. Concerned. "Sayu's room's probably gone as well, and I can't have you sleeping anywhere uncomfortable. A bad night's sleep will interfere with your studies." She gasps. "Oh, Light. Your studies, everything in your room's gone!"

Light bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from yelling. Okay, this was just a momentary set back. Assuring himself.

"I've got years until I graduate, it's no big deal mum."

"Not a big deal? _Light_!" She cries. "It does matter. It matters to me and your father, if your grades suffer because of this I…" Her hands flutter nervously, looking crestfallen.

Light reaches out again to grasp her trembling hands. "It's okay mum, I can study at the University's library."

She huffs, but some tension bleeds out of her. Sighing, his mother's gaze turns to the house. Firemen snuffing out the burning blaze.

"Sayu's going to be staying over at a friend's house down the road tonight. Lovely family." She turns back to him, eyes pleading. "Do you have a friend you can call?"

Light was momentarily struck dumb.

_Friends?_

His hands itch in his mother's grasp. A nervous tick begins to wiggle his right eyebrow. He doesn't have friends. He had people manipulated to think that they're his friends, when really they don't have a clue as to what his favorite colour is.

Light blinks cautiously, "ah, well…"

And the silver-haired Shinigami is suddenly _there_. "Light-kun can stay with us!" Clapping him on the back with enough force Light would have smashed to the ground if it weren't for a pair of strong hands to catch him. Looking up, Light's heart nearly stops. His reluctant savior is the guy who tried to murder him not moments ago.

He's saying reluctant because the guy looks like he's plotting murder.

 _This is my life now._ Light thinks bleakly, _one shit-storm after another._

His mother oohs, nodding curiously. Not questioning how one of them (Sasuke) looked like he'd been run over by a steamroller. She was just relieved her son could have a place to sleep comfortably.

"And, uh, who are you boys?"

The silver-haired one gives his mother a shark-like grin. "I'm Hidan, and this here is my kid brother Sasuke."

"How do you know my son?" She asks. Eyeing the way Sasuke was holding her son upright. Light didn't have the energy to snuff out any weird assumptions he's sure his mother was thinking, and quite frankly, he didn't really care. He was beyond caring right now. He just wanted to sleep and ignore the world for a couple of hours.

"Sasuke goes to school with him." Hidan informs. "He works at the library."

His mother oohs again.

It's here where everything from that point on becomes a blur. He faintly remembers Hidan and his mother chatting and making future arrangements for catching up – in the back of his mind logic screams at him about how wrong it is that his mother's befriending a foul-mouthed Shinigami. – He remembers how Sasuke's grip on him tightens and the world suddenly twists and turns, melting in on itself for half a second before coming clear again - they're in a different location. In the back of his mind, his inner child whispers 'teleportation'. In the back of his mind logic whacks him on the head.

What he does remember though, very clearly, is how Sasuke dumps him on a bed like a sack of potatoes. If he wasn't so tired Light would have made a cutting remark. But he is tired, so tired that when his head hits the pillow sleep pulls him under.

He dreams of red apples and fire.

-|-

The hotel phone rings.

Watari finishes placing a slice of strawberry cheesecake on the table besides L before picking it up.

Besides L, Matsuda's head drops, a low snore signaling his defeat to sleep. L waits two seconds before leaning over and pinching the forgotten taffy lying on the young detective's lap. In a victorious hum, L plops it in his mouth, closely followed by a forkful of strawberry cheesecake.

Aizawa who had witnessed the act, stares dumbly.

"L," Watari's dire tone hits the room like a whip. "There's been a fire at Yagami's house."

L pauses in his chewing, turning slowly around to face his handler. Disbelieving.

"What?"

-|-

 


	5. Act 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own "Death Note" or "Naruto". These characters solely belong to Masashi Kishimoto, sugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

-|-

 

Fact of the Day: Light cannot cook. At all.

 

-|-

Sasuke liked to follow a schedule. It grounded him, made him feel a little more in control of himself. Every morning at five, he would wake up, do an exercise, have a shower and go to work. This small morning routine was what kept Sasuke's sanity in check for the past decade or so (he's forgotten how long he's been a Shinigami – time doesn't matter when you're dead).

Regrettably though, when Kira arrived his schedule was savagely kicked in the rear.

Needless to say, it ticked Sasuke off.

-|-

[ _Contrary to what many believe, Shinigami do sleep. They can eat if so required. (Sasuke's forgotten what food tastes like. The only thing he's consumed upon arriving at Earth #67 is coffee. And that was purely out of necessity when pulling late nighters (addiction is such a cruel world)). Apart from the slight differences, Shinigami remain to have a similar physiology to humans. Sasuke's no Doctor, so he can't explain how it works exactly, but he's long since become accustomed to feeling 'different'._

_Shinigami like Ryuk, however, are a prime example of what happens when one 'defects'. Their bodies deform, minds decay and become so savagely twisted, they can barely be called Shinigami anymore. It chillingly reminds Sasuke of Orochimaru's curse seal.]_

-|- _  
_

At five in the morning, Sasuke's mind attempts to lure him into awareness. 'Tries' being the optimal word here as Sasuke was having a killer dream about chopping Yagami's head off and parading it around King's head like an obsessive jubilant fly. His pleasant fantasy is short lived, however, when a laughing teenage blonde invades it.

_"Oi! Sasuke wanna get some ramen with me and Sakura? Kakashi-sensei's paying!"_

_"I don't remember agreeing to paying, Naruto."_

_"…Eh?!"_

_"And I don't remember agreeing to having ramen with you, idiot!"_

_"EH?! Oh hey, come on guys! Ramen is - "_

With a heavy sigh, Sasuke rolls into a sitting position, rubbing the palm of his hands against his eyes. He sat like that for a while, feeling strangely peaceful as the morning rays of sunshine peaked through his bedroom window.

Releasing a pulse of chakra, Sasuke feels the world around him.

Yagami was fast asleep in Hidan's room and Hidan…he reaches out to try and sense his Captain.

He couldn't find him.

Leaping to his feet Sasuke soundlessly trots to the kitchen and sure enough, he spots a yellow post-it note on the refrigerator. Plucking it off, Sasuke's blinks at what he reads.

' _Ryuk ratted out where other defectors are hiding and I've been assigned to lead an attack squad to snuff the heathens out. I'll be gone for a while so don't wait up 3_

_P.S_

_Don't kill Yagami._

_P.P.S_

_If you do, plead the fifth ;)'_

Sasuke shakes his head, balls up the little yellow paper and tosses it in the bin. Against his better judgment, a swell of hot jealousy rises within him. Why is King doing this to him? He's the best combat Shinigami next to Hidan, and they have him babysitting an arrogant human.

_Do they think I'm not capable?_

No. That can't be it. They know how dangerous he can be. They've seen his memories.

_Do they not trust me?_

Sasuke cringes with a bittersweet smile. He can't really judge them on that front, because honestly, Sasuke doesn't trust himself either. Could anybody trust themselves after all the shit he's pulled?

Ehhh. Probably no one.

But if that's the case, then it doesn't make sense to put him in charge of someone King wants very much alive. Sasuke's very proficient at killing things, both intentional and unintentional. He once had a cactus and it died in under a week!

_Then…maybe it's a test?_

He automatically straightens at that. If they're testing his loyalty, then Sasuke will prove them how wrong they are to question him.

[The only downside to this is that he has to actually _speak_ to the brat.

_Bwugh_.]

-|-

Hidan looked happy.

"Well," he toes a pile of dust. "Looks like we're finished here."

The attack force, consisting of twelve highly dangerous Shinigami, harrumphed and went to scatter when Shinigami #1 spoke up (Hidan doesn't bother learning their names).

"Sir, we're missing one."

"Nah, I would've noticed if I had missed one."

"No, sir, Uchiha-san isn't here."

Hidan twists around and surveys his team. There were eleven instead of twelve. "Oh Hell. Where'd the weasel go?"

Shinigami #1 sighed. "I don't know, sir."

Hidan threw his hands in the air. "Every time. He does this _every time_ \- that shitty heathen! Why can't he listen to orders? I swear, when I find him I'm gonna chop his smug little head of!"

"Whoa, sir," Shinigami #3 says, feeling he should speak up on his condemned teammates behalf. "You gotta chill."

Hidan made a repulsed sound. " _Nah_."

"Sir," Shinigami #1 glowers at his unprofessional attitude. "I am certain he has a perfectly rational explanation for disappearing."

"Yeah!" Shinigami #8 pipes up. "Whenever he comes back he always has a good reason. Just wait and see, sir." Nodding. "Uchiha-san will show up, tell us something abysmally important and you'll have no choice but to not kill him!"

Hidan stares moodily at them. "We'll just fucking see."

After a few seconds filled with bated breath, their wayward colleague shunshins into existence besides Hidan.

Said team leader stabs a finger at him. "If you don't have anything important to disclose, I swear to Jashin-sama I'll sacrifice your weasel ass."

"I do." He says virtuously. "There's another Death Notes on Earth. A rogue Shinigami escaped before we arrived, I've been told she goes by the name Rem."

"See!" Shinigami #8 shouted triumphantly, unflinching under Hidan's peeved stare. "Told you so, sir."

Shinigami #1 manages to tug her loud teammates sleeve and shunshin them to safety before Hidan got to pounce on them with his scythe. Some seconds later, Hidan and the wayward Uchiha were alone (save for the ashen Shinigami deserters).

"Rem, huh?" mutters Hidan after a moment passes. Looking off into the bleak skyline.

"I've been told she was a friend of Ryuk's, they defected together."

Silence.

"…How's Sasuke?"

"Tired, pissed off, addicted to caffeine."

The Shinigami squints at the short account.

"Like fuck I'm gonna tell you anything else, Itachi. Stop being such a coward and go see him already."

"I didn't know you cared." Itachi stated dryly, glaring at him suspiciously.

"Oh no," Hidan whirls on him. "You don't get to give me that look, pal. I'm the one whose been Sasuke's partner for over a decade while you've been off watching from the sidelines. You've led him to believe you're in heaven and out of reach. _Gone_. Now, I don't know much about Sasuke's history," Hidan eyes him, "and I don't really give a crap, but something went on between you two and I can tell it's been eating him up. The longer you keep your distance, the more you're hurting him. Grow a pair and see your little brother before he does something explicably stupid again." _Like sending a Buddhist monk to hell. What a fucking experience that was, explaining it to King._

Itachi doesn't so much as flinch under Hidan's accusing stare. "It's a family matter."

"It always is with Uchihas." Mutters Hidan bitterly. "Whatever," he sighs, scratching his nose. "How can we find this Rem? Did the deserter you interrogate divulge anything noteworthy?"

Itachi takes the abrupt change of subject in stride. "She was rather taken by a human female."

"Name?"

"Amane Misa."

-|-

Light's done a lot of crazy things in his life– killing criminals, baiting L, feeding apples to Ryuk like he's some kind of pet goldfish – but cooking breakfast in the apartment of a Shinigami feels like he's tipping the scales.

It doesn't help the situation knowing he can't cook to save a life.

But he can't exactly say that _now_ , what with that damned Shinigami having gone out grocery shopping so he can have breakfast. It's not that he feels bad, it's just that he can't admit a weakness to someone so powerful.

His pride wouldn't allow that.

"Right," he says to himself. Staring at the ingredients like they'd reveal their purpose to him in life. He recognized some of them of course, having seen his mother cook dinner many times before - but he's never paid attention to the steps she took. Having been too preoccupied with studying and extra curricular activities.

How he wanted to hit his past self.

Light vaguely recalls his mother teaching him how to cook rice, but that's it. He tried to cook Sayu ramen once when she came crying to him about some fictional character dying in a tragic plot twist. He murdered the saucepan and almost burnt down the house – _how foreboding_ – so understandably his parents didn't let him near the kitchen or stove for some time. And it's not like he's ever expressed any interest in cooking. The only thing he can make without hurting someone (or himself) is a sandwich. The very basic of basics.

He continued to stare at the ingredients, beginning to sweat internally.

These random pride-butchery situations he's being shoved into lately was starting to kill him. This is killing him. Why were the fates suddenly out to get him? Everything was going so well. He was beating L, he was inconspicuous, he was having a good time. Then that weirdo Shinigami _Sasuke_ comes cascading into his life like he's the very manifestation of everything Bad Luck.

This was some kind of cockamamie conspiracy. Light can feel it.

Grabbing a saucepan he savagely rips into the rice bag, pours an undecided amount in and fills it to the brim with water. Turning on the stove ( _how high should the flame be?_ ) and starts to boil them both. Somewhere in the back of his mind, logic screams at him _Bad Idea_ , but genuine desperation and fury override it. As he watches the water start to bubble, Light runs a hand down his unshaven face. _What am I doing?_

Turning to the two packets of natto, Light squints suspiciously. He then turns to look at the other ingredients. Soy sauce, fish flakes, seaweed, green onions, an egg and…was that anchovies?

…

_What am I supposed to do with this?!_

Light smiles. Grating his teeth together as a scream's trapped between his lips. He wants to quit. He wants to quit before he accidentally blows something up.

_Maybe I should_. A part of Light thinks spitefully. _He blew up my house after all, why shouldn't I blow up his?_

Rationality shoves its way through desperation and fury. _Because there's a high chance he'd actually kill you!_

_But he's got orders not to!_

Light feels like slamming his head against the kitchen counter. _Who am I kidding? Of course I'm not going to tempt fate. Not while I'm some kind of magnetic pole for attracting Bad Luck._

And as destiny would have it, just as he decides to not blow up a Shinigami's apartment, the saucepan explodes.

-|-

Sasuke's staring at him like he wants to feed Light his own teeth. Out of spite and pride, Light refuses to fidget uncomfortably.

"You don't know how to cook." The Shinigami states, turning to stare balefully at his burnt kitchen as proof.

Light refuses to feel guilty, but gives in to telling the truth. It would be pathetic to try and lie when there's an excruciating amount of evidence against him.

"I really can't."

"And you didn't tell me this because…" Sasuke trails off, resembling a disappointed parent.

"I don't need to explain myself, Sasuke-san."

The Shinigami blinks at the honorific. "If we're going to be roommates you can drop the 'san', Light."

He froze in horror.

Light smiles again, scream trapped in his throat. "…Roommates?"

"Hn."

His smile stretches to the brim, teeth grinding so hard dentists around the world cry.

No. Light has to prevent this from coming true. His health can no longer take the strain from being in the same vicinity as this Bad Luck bringer. He'll do anything.

His mother! Surely she won't let him stay with a complete stranger (read: without dad doing a proper background check).

Light nods to himself reassuringly. His mother's smart, she has that maternal intuition people talk about. She can feel his desperation.

"I phoned your mother this morning. She was very approving of the idea." Sasuke gives him this smug knowing look that just screams 'mindfuck!'

Light pinches the bridge of his nose and breaths. This is hell. "How did you get my mother's number?"

"The same way I got your address."

For the first time since meeting Sasuke, Light has the opportunity to place things together. And he's torn between total disbelief and irritation. "You _stalked_ me?"

Sasuke grunts. "Yes- _wait_ …" The Shinigami pauses, scowling. "I did not. I gathered valuable information on my target."

"So…" Light says, slowly so the damned Shinigami can get it through his thick supernatural skull. "You stalked me. _You stalked me_."

"You don't need to repeat it."

"It deserves to be repeated." He hisses.

Sasuke growls. Startling Light because _he forgot how creepy that was_. "Stalkers require obsessive attention to their chosen target. I viewed you as nothing more than a stain on the earth I strongly sought to remove."

Terrifyingly, that relieved Light a little. But he wasn't done. "Doesn't mean you didn't show stalker tendencies."

"You're being a child."

"I'm proving a valid point." Huffs Light, crossing his legs on the living room couch. "You say you didn't stalk me, that stalkers require obsession. Yet, you did have an obsession. Your job _required_ you to have obsession in finding Kira, _me_." He points at himself. "If you disagree then you're either in denial or an idiot."

Sasuke glowers at him, and for a second Light swore he saw his eyes turn red before the Shinigami turned away.

"We're not discussing this any further, it's pointless."

_It's not pointless when you're the one being stalked by a Death God with a significant amount of bad luck following him around like a puppy!_ Light mind crows in frustration – sadly though, he couldn't help but concede. It was useless. He remembers last night and Sasuke's new mission.

Light's face falls and he sighs heavily.

His new mission requires _stalking_.

He closes his eyes and counts to ten. When he opens them again, he finds Sasuke's looking at him disdainfully.

"So," Light starts pleasantly. "We're roommates."

"It's the best option." Sasuke says ruefully. "My mission involves recording your every move."

"Aah." That's not creepy at all.

"I don't like it either. I'd rather you'd be dead." He shrugs. Reaching down to the coffee table separating them and taking a sip of his coffee. Light eyes the familiar symbol on the plastic cup, frustrated at not being able to place it. "It'd make my life a whole lot easier if you'd kick the bucket." Sasuke gives him a look, as if expecting him to do just that.

Light stares back at him. Amazed. "You don't have many friends do you?"

Sasuke grunts. Wholly uncaring.

"Okay," Light nods, very deliberately. "I'm not going to die anytime soon."

When Sasuke glances just above Light's head and scowls, the teenager is hit with the realization that Sasuke can see his lifespan. His name.

_He's seen L's name._

Light almost laughs right in Sasuke's face, but manages to swallow it down with a strangled cough. His body was buzzing in sudden energy, heart beating wildly in his ears.

For a single moment, Light can see it. L collapsing, police submitting to Kira, his mother, father, sister – the whole world kneeling before him and accepting him as their new God.

He leans forward, hands gripping his knees so hard they've turned white. He takes a breath.

"Sasuke, you know that guy I was with at the tennis courts yesterday?"

Sasuke stares at him reproachfully. "Hn."

Light almost springs to his feet as he demands, "Did you see his name?"

Sasuke nods.

Light licks his lips, heart pounding in his ears as he carefully asks the next question. "Can you tell me?"

Silence.

"Hn. Why should I do that?"

To Light's distress, Sasuke continues. "What would I have to gain from telling you?"

"What do you want?" Gritting his teeth as he asks. He should have seen this coming, why would Sasuke be any different from Ryuk?

"Your death."

_This again?! I don't know whether to laugh or cry._

Light swallows his disappointment, shoulders slumping in resignation.

Hmph. No matter, this changes nothing.

"Unfortunately though, you're correct." Sasuke states dryly. "It doesn't look like you'll be dying anytime soon, so I have to get used to you." The Shinigami grumbles and runs a hand through his messy raven locks. "I thought this'd be simple, I feed you, you live – I can go on with work."

"I'm not a cactus!"

Sasuke looks wholly disappointed. "I've realized."

Light went to snap at him - now isn't that a surprise? How can a single Shinigami get such a rise out of him? - but Sasuke interrupts.

"We're going out. Humans need to eat to stay alive, and King unfortunately requests that to remain."

He falters.

"Pardon?"

"And since all your clothes were burnt up in the fire," he doesn't look the least bit guilty, "you'll have to borrow mine."

Light almost splutters incoherently at the thought of wearing someone else's clothes - let alone a _Shinigami's_.

-|-

L stood outside Yagami's residence, staring at the charred remains where Light's bedroom once stood. He stared blankly, analyzing, questioning and getting nothing in return.

Why did this happen? Was this Kira's plan? If so, then why? What would this achieve?

Maybe he had something he wanted to hide.

That was a 0.5% possibility.

"Ryuzaki," Watari interrupts, walking over and flipping the cellphone shut in his hand. "Light-san's been sighted entering a café near To-Oh University. He's unharmed and in company of another young man."

L hums, rubbing his thumb across his lower lip in thought.

"Class starts in three hours…Let's head back to the hotel." It's better to question him without any bystanders around.

He gives the house one final long look before hopping in the car. Strapping into his seat he pauses. "Ah, Watari?"

His handler pauses closing the door. "Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"Who was Light-kun accompanied with?"

"I have yet to find out."

"Please do."

-|-


	6. Act 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, it's been a LONG time and I am so sorry! I hope this chapter will be enjoyable and you all forgive me (:
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own "Death Note" or "Naruto". These characters solely belong to Masashi Kishimoto, sugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

 

. . .

Fact of the Day: Chimpanzees can apparently 'cook'

. . .

Light was not one to get easily flustered.

You could be forgiven for assuming it's because he has the emotional range of a pea, but in all seriousness, it's due to the fact that he's never been in such an awkward situation before.

"I should've guessed." The waitress sighs wistfully before moseying away with their order.

For a couple of seconds, Light and Sasuke just stare at one another in a sort of detached sense of bewilderment.

"Did she just…?" Light trails off.

Sasuke grunts with a nod of his chin.

They sit silently in alarmed horror for a couple more seconds before deciding it's funny.

Funny in a way that's not funny at all and they're just thinking that way so neither of them attack one-another.

Sasuke smiles pleasantly through menacing eyes. Jabbing a finger his way as he declares. "This is your fault."

Light's face twitches, lips twisting up in a mock grin. " _No_ , it's  _your_  fault. I've never once been accused of being in a  _romantic relationship with a guy before you came along._ "

Sasuke gives him a dry, flat look. "Neither have I…Isn't it funny how everything bad that's happening to me lately is because of you?"

Gritting his teeth, Light could have laughed. "Who was it that blew up my room, again?"

"Who was it that made me do overtime?"

"Who was it that tried to decapitate me?"

" _That_  fact is unrelated since it was for work, besides..." Sasuke's eyes glint madly. "Who was it that blew up my kitchen?"

 _Tch_. "You didn't give me a recipe."

"What eighteen-year-old doesn't know how to cook  _rice_? You stupid monkey."

" _Hah_ , amongst all other primates, monkeys are the most intelligent."

"The Proboscis monkey may be good at swimming but they're not exceptionally smart."

"The South-American Capuchin monkey is  _highly_  clever and can be trained to aid disabled people."

"So can dogs."

"Chimpanzees can cook."

"With your showmanship of cooking I'm inclined to argue whether it's edible or not."

Light snorts. "Not 'cook' as in being able to make instant ramen. I mean Chimpanzees are intelligent enough to know the difference between raw and cooked. There was a study on the evolution of cooking not too long ago where chimpanzees were given a small cooking device to see what they'd do. Since chimpanzees are our closest relatives they're the best thing to compare ourselves against.

"Unexpectedly in one experiment, a chimpanzee placed raw potatoes into the device and waited until they were cooked! Now, this went against their typical behavior because when apes have food in their hands they immediately eat it, not place it aside for safekeeping. They  _knew_  – they  _understood_  the transformation process from raw to cooked! They even had the patience. It's evidence that they might have a high-level of cognitive understanding. It also shows the inhibitory control they have when it comes to food! Amazing, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes." Sasuke replies haughtily. "They can differentiate, but can't cook."

Light seethes, smacking his forehead to block sight of the Shinigami. Never in his life has he felt such a desire to act on violent impulses.

"On another note. Elephants can draw trees."

Light peers through his fingers, scowling. The look Sasuke had was  _smug_. He hates him. If he were a human Light wouldn't even bother with the Death Note, he'd stab that bastard in the eye with a chopstick.

"They're quite good drawings too." Sasuke leans forward, striking the final blow. "One even did a self-portrait."

Light sucked in a breath. He shouldn't, this whole thing was childish and utterly beneath him but that fucking smile of Sasuke's was grating on his  _every nerve_. "Orangutans can count."

" _Hn_! So can – "

"Sorry for the wait!" A peppy voice interrupts, and the two of them turn to see a new waitress holding their food with a beaming smile. Neither of them liked that look.

She turns to Sasuke, an adoring expression on her young face. "Suki-chan told me you were here with your…" she stops herself with a giggle, glancing towards Light. It makes both Sasuke and Light's hackles rise. " _friend_."

Light rubs his hands over his face to try and keep himself from blushing. Peering through fingers, he glares accusingly at the Shinigami. He wants to stab Sasuke somewhere painful because before he met him he did not get into these  _ridiculously embarrassing situations_.

"Makise-san, you've got the wrong idea." Sasuke says cautiously, looking a bit ill. "We're not…" He trails off, pressing two index fingers together.

"…Together?" she helps.

" _Hn_."

The girl's eyes widen in understanding, sending shocks of relief through Light's system. Finally, she comprehends –

She  _smiles_   _softly_.

He wants to scream.

"It's okay. The world's becoming more understanding place, Yūrei-kun."

Light slowly faces Sasuke, expression dry.  _Ghost?_ He would have laughed if he didn't want to cry.

Sasuke sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Makise-san – "

"Maa," she places their food on the table and pats Sasuke's cheek. "I get it."

Light doubts it. He very much doubts it.

She gives them one last wink before skittering off to serve another table.

He waits five seconds before pouncing on Sasuke. "What's her first name?"

Coal eyes blink at him. "As much as it pains me to admit it, I didn't think you were that much of an idiot. But now you've just nocked yourself down a peg or two."

Alright, Light concedes, he deserved that one.

. . .

L ignores the curious stares as he takes a seat.

He had purposefully arrived early to class so he could question Light on what exactly happened last night. So far all he had was possibilities and hypothesis. One idea spanning on top of another, and another, and another until they all jumbled up into a chaotic vortex consisting of half-words and illegible sentences.

It was beginning to get quite uncomfortable up in his mind and he needed relief in the form of answers.

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, L glances at the door and then at his watch. It was almost eight and Light hasn't appeared yet. Now that was odd. From his daily monitoring, Light hasn't been late to class since school started two weeks ago. If he didn't arrive soon L would have to wait until class finished. By then his mind would be screaming.

Biting his thumb L distracts himself in wondering what could delay a perfectionist like Light.

Him being late could, of course, be chalked down do his house almost burning down last night. Understandably that'd mess any normal person up – then again L hasn't exactly gotten the impression that Light is what you'd consider  _normal_. Light does, in fact, give off the vibe of someone who's about to go off the deep end. It's all rather well hidden behind layers of masks, but L isn't stupid.

…He also happens to be relatively insane by social standards.

Meh _._ Semantics.

L nearly snorts as he nibbles on the end of his thumb. Anxiously glancing at the entrance again.

_Where are you, Yagami Light?_

_. . ._

The world shifts and within a blink they're in a different location. There's the sound of something hitting water then of muffled cursing.

" _Why_  are we in the janitors storeroom?" Sasuke hears Light hiss besides him and it takes everything he has to not cackle madly as he watches the human step out of a bucket.

"It would be obvious if we miraculously appear in the hallway." He says matter-of-factly.

"And walking out of the janitor's storeroom doesn't raise any eyebrows?" Light asks doubtfully, shaking a drenched foot in Sasuke's direction. In retaliation Sasuke just shoves his reluctant roommate towards the door, only to hear a dull thud as flesh meets wood.

Ah, it was a pull door not push.

Oops.

Sasuke at least has the decency to wince sympathetically as Light slinks to the floor in a drawn out groan.

"I hate you." He snarls - well, it's more like a rasp really, but Sasuke's willing to give him points for effort.

"Hn."

And because he's such a stand up guy, Sasuke reaches down to tug Light up. Unsurprisingly, the teen tries to bat him away like an unwilling kitten getting cuddled by a five year old.

And that's how the janitor finds them.

Honestly, Sasuke wishes he could say he was surprised at how quickly everything went downhill, but he's not. He doesn't so much as blink when the janitor drops his broom in a loud  _clank_. Eyes wide and lips parted, unsure of how to react.

"I swear. This isn't what it looks like." Sasuke defends from his intimate position against Light.

There was a long stretch of silence where the janitor's mouth opens and closes frantically before he slams the door in their face.

Under the dim lighting of the room, Sasuke watches as the teen's horrified expression collapses in on itself.

"How long has it been since we've met?"

Sasuke falters at the sudden question. "A day."

"Oh fuck I'm tired. It feels like years."

Sasuke grunts his agreement before pulling away from Light. The teen sways for a moment before straightening up with a grimace and tries to look presentable. Sasuke couldn't help a little snort escape at the image. He looks so awkward in his clothes.

Light had a very small frame with little to no muscle - unlike himself. Sasuke isn't what you'd call beefy but he was very strong looking with broad shoulders and tall frame.

His clothes seemed to bag around Light as though he resembled a deflated balloon.

" _What?_ " Light hisses at him. Lip curling up in a feral snarl.

Sasuke decides he's quite fond of his genitals so instead he grunts and opens the door. Thankfully the janitor's gone, but the broom's still there. He goes to exit but Light barges past him, making squelching sounds with each step. Trailing after him, the two scan the hallway and in relief they find it's deserted.

"Right," Sasuke starts blearily, suddenly feeling very tired. "I'm off to work."

"Wait." Light grinds out. "I can't go to class like this." Gesturing sullenly at the puddle beneath his feet.

Sasuke's eyebrows climb his forehead at the expectant look Light shoots him. In return he gives a helpless shrug.

"Did you want something?"

Light looks like he was wrestling an internal battle of pride. "Can you…" the teen clenches his fists as he takes a breath. "Help…me?"

Asking for help  _shouldn't_  look that painful. Then again Sasuke has no room to talk.

"How, exactly?"

"Can't you just…" he makes a little 'poof' motion with his hands.

Sasuke stares. "Are you a moron?"

Light glares at him murderously, as if  _he_  was the one being unreasonable. Which, okay, maybe he was.

"I'm not your personal butler, and I only have two pairs of shoes."

There was a pause in which Light's left eyelid twitches.

"You…" he breathes. "Okay, does the library have a heater?"

"Hn."

Light begins to meticulously untie his shoes and shed himself of soggy socks. "Then take these and place them by the heater. I'll collect them after class ends."

Sasuke stands there awkwardly, finding the plan not half-bad but… "You'll go to class in bear feet."

Light smiles.

When it dawns on him, Sasuke scoffs.

" _No_."

. . .

"Um, Sasuke, why are you barefoot?" Ayame questions him as he enters the library. Sasuke grumbles nonsensical things as he moseys over towards the heater, switching it on and placing the socks and shoes in front of it. "Whoa, why are you turning that death machine on? It's like twenty-five degrees outside. We'll toast in here!"

Well, she'll toast. Sasuke doesn't feel the weather much. Perks of being a Shinigami, he guesses.

Slumping into his seat, Sasuke ignores Ayame's burning gaze at the side of his face and closes his eyes.

He has a terrible feeling this'll be another long day.

. . .

**Reviews are like cookies for writers!**


	7. Act 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own "Death Note" or "Naruto". These characters solely belong to Masashi Kishimoto, sugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.
> 
> Note: Oh wow I'm late with an update (heh that rhymed). It's 1am and I just finished this chapter. I was stuck on it for SO LONG it almost made me pull my hair out in frustration. Anyway, I'm back. This story is not abandoned and L is in it! Whoo! I also made it extra long in apology.
> 
> Please review in the end and tell me your thoughts on characters, where this might be heading and helpful criticism! :D

 

. . .

Fact of the Day: Light and Sasuke are in a (fake) club.

. . .

Hidan squints at the mailbox number, then the slip of paper. "Huh."

"Sir…we may have been misled."

"Ooh, no, really?"

His teammate scowls. "Sarcasm, sir, is  _unfitting_  for a Captain."

"Itachi dear, with the amount of times you've said that one would think you'd have gotten the memo. I don't give a flying _toss_ what's fitting or unfitting _._ "

Itachi gives him a look. "Don't call me dear, sir."

Hidan barks out a laugh, waving a hand. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get your panties in a twist Itachi-kun~." Twisting around the Shinigami surveys the house, which not moments ago they saw a young man enter. "Ne…you said Amane Misa's female, right?"

"The defector did specify Amane Misa being female - but then again most Shinigami don't exactly bother with gender labels, do they? It is entirely possible the defector forgot what male and female are and rattled out whatever popped to mind."

"So," Hidan blinks dubiously, "you're telling me Amane  _Misa_  could be a bloke?"

"Yes, sir."

"Huh. Well," he sighs, swinging his scythe. "Apples and oranges, my dear. Still gotta kill 'im."

"Sir…" Itachi says with the patience of a saint. "We saw his  _life span_."

There was a long silence on Hidan's part.

"So,  _not_  Amane Misa then."

"No, sir."

"Ah.  _Then where the fuck is she_?!" He screeches into Itachi's ear. "It shouldn't be this hard to find a human girl -"

"- Or boy."

"I don't care if he or she's a damned squirrel. It shouldn't be this hard."

"Perhaps the gentleman of the house knows he or she's whereabouts."

"This is why I tolerate you. You make sense unlike your accident-prone doomed-ridden, disaster of a brother." Hidan chuffs, shushin's to the front of the house and….

Knocks on the door.

Itachi sends him a look.

"What?"

He shrugs (a little twitch of the shoulder is about as expressive Itachi gets).

"You expected me to kick it down didn't you?"

Itachi blinks.

Hidan gawks.

"Oi, so - what? You think I don't have manners? We're about to scare the living shit out of this poor bastard. And in doing so we should at least have the decency to be polite about it."

"You weren't like this in the Akatsuki."

"Yeah, well, back then I didn't have King growling down my neck about the amount of Ethical Management complaints he's gotten since I arrived. If I want to keep my dick I have to tone down the violence. Tch."

"My sympathies."

"Hmph."

Finally, the door opens. Revealing a somewhat appealing young man if one turns one's head ninety degrees. And squints.

Hidan tries his best to smile politely. Itachi likens it to something that would make small children cry.

The man whimpers.

. . .

Sasuke could feel the hairs on the back of his neck shoot up like a spooked cat when Ayame clicked her tongue.

"Sasuke-san."

"Hn?"

" _Sasuke-san_."

" _Hn_."

Ayame purses her lips. "Something happened to you. I can tell by the way you're barefoot along with that depressing air polluting the room."  _Oh. No._  Sasuke rubs his forehead against the desk in misery. She's _deducing._  "Not that you've never had a depressing air to begin with, my gosh going near you is like standing under a  _really, really_  grey cloud - but this ones just more potent. Also…"

He hears the chair roll towards him eagerly. "I can also tell by the way your socks are mismatched, clothes muddled, hair not brushed - you were  _distracted_  this morning. And that begs the question." Her voice turns smug as she rolls up besides him, prodding his arm with a sharp fingernail. "What could possibly distract someone like you?"

Sasuke decides to be a little offended by that. "!?"

"To be fair Sasuke-san," Ayame says slowly, poking him. "You're not exactly easy to faze. You mismatching socks is – like,  _colossal_." She pinches his arm.

"Hn!"

"Sasuke-san…" She leans in, eyes wide and grin massive as she coos. "You gotta girlfriend?"

Sasuke slams his head against the desk while Ayame cackles victoriously, fist-bumping the air.

"Aah," she breathes, rolling languidly back to the front desk where a student was waving us over. Grabbing the book the student had, she hisses at her to be quiet.

The student blanches.

"Who is it then? Hopefully not that Tina bitch I was telling you about? Aw man, it's not her is it?"

"…" For the first time in his life Sasuke was tossing up between telling her that the person who she thinks he's dating is a guy she once babysat or just playing along to save his sanity.

He's already been mistaken for being gay once today. He'd like to keep that from happening again.

"…No."

She squeals and claps enthusiastically. Startling the poor student who looked tragically confused and equally scared. Ayame had a reputation in the school as being 'not all there' in the head.

"So, is it someone I know?"

 _You used to babysit the little sociopath._  "Hn."

"Ooh, so I do? Okay, I can play this guessing game." Slapping the book the student borrowed in their hands she rolls back over to Sasuke. "Is she nice?"

Sasuke squints.  _He kills people as a hobby._

"No? Ah, why am I not surprised?" Smirking, she adds. "Nice girls who go on picnic's aren't your style, is it. Your idea of a perfect date's probably burning down a building or something." Spinning in her seat Ayame misses the pained and slightly grumpy look Sasuke gives her. "Hmm, I know plenty bitches." Not surprising. "This is gonna be hard."

As she continues to fire question after question, Sasuke attempts to make himself apart of the desk.

He's a God of Death. One would think he'd be able to get out of these situations. In a past life all he had to do was state his last name and people would shut right up. They respected him. They didn't bother him. They knew when to shut up lest he snap their neck.

"Is she the dominant or submissive type?"

Sasuke's hand itched to do just that.

_I don't deserve this. No amounting of people I killed in my past life justifies this kind of torture._

. . .

Light stood in the doorway of the classroom, his new group of 'friends' beckoning him over to one side of the room. While L waved at him from the other.

A part of him wanted to turn around and sleep. For some reason Sasuke's presence was like a leech that sucked Light's patience right out of him.

And since Light was largely of the opinion in finding the quickest way to murder L. He didn't trust himself being around the detective without shoving his HB pencil (which he had managed to steal on his way there) into the man's eye socket during one of their little 'mind games'.

Yet…Light sucked in a breath, grip loosening on his pencil. If he doesn't at least show his interest in being L's friend, then he won't gain the man's trust and lower the percentage of him being Kira.

Thus, leading to being on the Kira Task Force.  _Thus,_  being able to monitor their progress in catching him.

He needs to get on the Task Force.

Quickly.

"Light-kun!" L calls out, waving a lazy hand at him. "I saved you a seat!"

_Well, if he's giving me no other choice I shouldn't dawdle._

Light gives his best apologetic smile towards his group of 'friends' and makes his way towards L. Who was, unsurprisingly, perched on his chair like a frog ready to pounce.

Placing the stolen books he had managed to scavenge on his way to class, Light plops down. Giving a little laugh.

"You didn't have to call me over, Ryuzaki."

L tilts his head back curiously _._ "So you would have come over anyways?"

"Of course! You're my friend, I wouldn't let you sit alone." Indeed, L was alone. Nobody within a two-meter radius was sitting near him. It was like they were afraid if they sat too close they might catch something.

"Thank you, Light-kun." L nods, eyeing him suspiciously and wondering whether a serial killer could truly be  _polite-_ or if it was just another one of his cheesy acts. But that was another thought for another day, he had a question needing to be answered. "Actually, I saved you a spot because I have something I need to ask you. It's concerning yesterday."

"Oh?"

"Yes, you see I heard on the news that – "

L never got to finish as a bespectacled girl seemed to drop out of  _nowhere_  into the seat besides him. Startling the detective so hard he almost frog-leaped onto the desk.

"Oh!" the girl flushed, floundering at the sight of L's stunned accusing bug eyes. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you it's just that Senpai and I saw you two at the tennis match yesterday – which was really,  _really_  good by the way like holy crap on a stick - and he's been searching  _everywhere_  for you guys and coming into class right now I was like 'eureka!'. Here!" Throughout her rambling she had managed to produce two pamphlets, which were promptly shoved at them.

L stared at her, seemingly out of depth on what to say and what to do. Watari had never taught him how to interact with someone so… _flamboyant_. He was, oddly enough, terrified on how to proceed.

She then shot to her feet, striking a pose which eerily reminded L of the famous Lord Kitchener recruiting poster.

"Yagami, Light. Hideki, Ryuga. Your tennis team needs you."

She was met with silence and bewildered stares.

"Excuse me, miss…" Light asked, comfortably taking control of the situation - which L was honestly fine with.

"Oh!" The girl yelped. Cheeks reddening as she bowed. "I'm Araya, Sakura! It's very nice to meet you!"

"It's very nice to meet you too." Light smiled disarmingly, pausing a little when he didn't get a reaction out of her like it did with other girls. All she did was nod enthusiastically at him to go on. "Ah, well, you see Araya-san – "

"Please, call me Sakura!"

"Right. Sakura-san – "

"Please, Light-kun, we're teammates now! Be more familiar!"

" _Okay_ , Sakura-chan, wait. What…" Light straightens in alarm and is just able to keep himself from screeching, "teammates?!"

Sakura positively gleams. "We are?! Oh how wonderful, so you're joining the tennis team then. How about you, Ryuga-kun? Planning on joining the team?" The look she shoots L was one of malicious glee.

L froze, mind ablaze with so many objections all he could get out was, " _Nngh!_ "

"Excellent!" Sakura cheers, punching the air. "Senpai will be so pleased to hear this! Oh! Look at the time class is about to start. Better find myself a seat – bye! See you at 3 for training! Oh and we're meeting at the tennis courts, duh!"

As she scurries off to a seat conveniently placed far from theirs, L and Light share a mutual look. Both having a terrible feeling that they'd just been conned like a couple of schnooks. Ha! World's greatest serial killer and world's greatest detective conned into joining a tennis club by an unassuming, somewhat sheepish-looking, girl.

L opens and closes his mouth, finding himself for the first time in life, rendered speechless. Light, having been exposed to unreasonable situations since last night, nodded in understanding.

"The shock will wear off in a minute or two."

L choked.

. . .

"Jashin-sama, this chick has got some iss _ues_." Hidan chuckles, stooping down to examine an impressive collection of bedazzled animal skulls. "She needs, like, all the therapy."

Itachi shoots him a dull look that screamed at his hypocrisy.

"Not that I'm one to talk." He added soon after.

"Hn."

Luckily before an awkward silence could cloud the room, they sensed a weak chakra signal walk towards the apartment. And with it a stronger, stained one; one that tasted foul, like spoiled milk and raw fish. It made the two Shinigami tense at the sudden unpleasantness of the situation.

Hidan swung his scythe at the same time Itachi activated his sharingan.

When the door swung open they pounced.

. . .

Once the lecture ended Light shot from his seat in the direction of Sakura, L hot on his heels and fidgeting uneasily. They had spent most of the time in class conversing in furious hushed whispers. Coming together under a mutual goal to get out of the tennis club. (It was unnerving how they managed to spend an hour together,  _chatting_ , without the word 'Kira' being mentioned. L never looked so glum.)

"She's fleeing!" L said worriedly, nudging Light in the direction where Sakura's small form pelted out the door. Light's eyes shone with murderous intent.

As if he, Kira, would bow down in surrender to a girl's attempt at conning him. God's don't get conned easily. She will have to be punished. Light smiled.

L almost didn't want to ask what made him so cheerful. Unfortunately he never did have a solid grasp on impulse control. This was made obvious by his deathly sugar intake.

"Maa, Light-kun why are you smiling like a creep?"

Light scoffs and ignores the jab, choosing to masterfully weave through the crowd in haste. Once out in the hallway, however, the two united enemies encountered a setback. There was a sea of lethargic students, Sakura nowhere in sight.

"She's in the physics department."

Light squints at L in confusion. The detective looked smug and gave a careless shrug. Fisting his hands in loose trousers.

"I managed to glance in her bag while she was talking to us. There were various text books outlined for the advanced physics course." He smiles joyously. "I'm surprised you didn't catch that, Light-kun. Perhaps I overestimated your powers of deduction."

_You bastard._

Light put on a sheepish expression. "Aah, don't be so mean Ryuzaki-san, it was impossible from my line of sight to see that."

L shrugs again, making Light's hackles rise in annoyance.

"Right then, physics department." He nods, mentally pulling up the university's map and heading down a hallway. As expected L followed, stumbling a couple of times from his untied shoes before deciding to kick them off and run barefoot.

It was getting serious.

As the two unlikely allies jerked to a halt in a vaguely empty corridor, they scowled at no sight of Sakura.

"Maybe her classes weren't until afternoon." Thought L, panda eyes searching every nook and cranny.

"Maybe." Light grudgingly agreed. "Still, I'll go down this end, you go down that end." Pointing at two separate ends of the corridor. "Shout if you see her." Nodding, the two set off in an impromptu witch-hunt.

It was two doors down in his search when he found her. Sitting carefree amongst a group of friends. He turned to shout down when he came face-to-face with a brooding figure.

The two stare in mutual loathing.

"Sasuke?"

"Light?"

"You do advanced physics?" Light asks incredulously. As though the idea of someone like  _Sasuke_  being that intelligent was an insult.

A lovely greeting, one that Sasuke glares at.

"What are you doing here?"

" _You_  do  _physics_?"

"Why are you here if it's not to see me?"

"On what planet would I willingly seek out your presence? You give me bad luck."

Insulted silence.

" _I_  give you bad luck?" Sasuke growles. " _You_  give me bad luck."

Light inhales sharply, forcing down a rebuttal as his eyes stray pointedly over to Sakura.

"I'm not here for you. I'm here for  _her_."

Following the heated line of sight, Sasuke cranes his head around him, almost breathing down his neck.

"Hmm? Lover's quarrel?"

"Hardly. She conned us into joining her tennis team." Light admits reluctantly.

Sasuke tilts his head curiously. "Us?"

"L."

He stares at him, eyes laughing vindictively.

"Don't give me that look." He says gruffly, clearing his throat. "She took us by surprise."

Sasuke nodded slowly. Enjoying this.

"What's your plan then. Murder?"

Light coughs in offended shock.

"You're a serial killer." Sasuke explains slowly. "You kill whoever's against you. Whoever wrongs you. I'm only asking because I want to know whether or not I'm doing overtime today."

Light's expression turns pinched at how blandly he stated it. He wasn't yet used to Sasuke's casual mentioning of murder.

"I'm not petty." He says, glowering at Sasuke. "I don't kill for myself. I kill for justice."

 _Then what do you plan to do with her?_  Was Sasuke's unsaid question.

"I don't need to tell you that."

Sasuke shrugs. Fair enough.

It was then Light notices something odd.

"Are you wearing my shoes?"

Granted, Light shouldn't have been so surprised. It was ridiculous to expect Sasuke to stay barefoot all day.

"Hn." Sasuke levels his own shoes a look.

There was an uncomfortable silence where neither of them really knew what to do next. Do they switch shoes? In the middle of the hallway? We're they so genuinely attached to their own respective shoes, that they felt the need to strip in the middle of a school corridor?

They were.

Almost in sync the two stoop down to untie shoes they were wearing. Muttering things like 'hurry up' 'why did you do a double knot?' 'it's the safest knot you can tie' 'it's a stupid knot' and 'mind your own business'. Soon they were both standing in a corridor, shoes in hand.

"Wait." Uttered Sasuke, halting the exchange. "You're wearing my socks."

Light noticed what was implied, and he glances at Sasuke's feet. "You're wearing my socks."

" _Hn_."

This time they stood barefoot in a corridor. Socks and shoes in hand, glaring at each other as they exchanged items.

It was a unique sight.

One L was awestricken to encounter.

"Light-kun, why are you barefoot?"

If Light didn't have such control over his facial expressions, he would have found himself resembling a deer caught in headlights.

"I thought it would be unusual for one person to be seen running in the school hallway barefoot."

L stares at him disbelievingly. "And two people running barefoot isn't just as bad? In fact, isn't that worse?"

Light's face twitches. "I…didn't think of that."

"Clearly."

Huffing, Sasuke made the tedious effort to redress his feet. Gaining unwanted attention from L – who seemed to blink in recognition.

And show unnerving interest.

"Who are you?" Was the rude question shot at him.

Sasuke blinks, not feeling the need or want to respond to such a rude person. So, he decided the default reply to every question.

"Hn."

L turns to Light, who was staring at Sasuke in either admiration or betrayal.

"Wasn't he with you yesterday? I was under the presumption you two weren't friends."

" _We_   _aren't_." Light stresses.

"Then why are you two exchanging…" L had to blink. Had to reassure himself he wasn't making this up. "Shoes and socks?" His Kira suspect, a mass murdering sociopath, was exchanging clothing items with an unidentified man. "I've been informed by a trusted individual that people who exchange clothing items are either best friends or homeless."

"I am homeless."

Sasuke shot him a disapproving look. "You're not homeless. You live with me."

There was a pause of silence in which Light closed his eyes, Sasuke realized he probably shouldn't have said that, and L looked like the cat got the cream.

L's day was taking a turn for the better.

Light's and Sasuke's? Not so much.

"That doesn't make us friends though." Sasuke emphasizes. Having realized that if L got interested in him then he'd be dragged into the mess Light's life was. He didn't want that.

This was exactly the opposite of what he wanted.

L hums, not convinced. Which was wholly ironic, seeing as that was the first honest thing they've told L.

Light sighed, getting the feeling that L was about as stubborn as an old goat and relied on what he saw rather than told. It was how detectives worked, and horribly enough if Light were him he wouldn't be convinced either. They did look like best friends.

What a terrifying thought.

"I found her." He announces, changing the subject of conversation. Much to the relief of Sasuke who looked extremely peeved from being stared at by panda eyes.

L perks up like he does when spotting strawberry cake. "Excellent."

Then the warning bell rang and Sasuke quickly bolts to the classroom. Unfortunately, though, as luck would have it, Light happened to be standing near the doorway.

Leading to an impromptu football tackle at full fucking speed.

The last things Light sees before he's completely blindsided is Sasuke's flabbergasted 'oh fuck', and L's floored expression. Hand reached out in a halfhearted attempt to stop what was about to happen.

Sasuke and Light crash to the ground in flail of limbs and loud cursing. It renders the classroom speechless for a stumped second before phones whip out and cameras start flashing. Students staring and muttering to one another in open fascination at what was soon to be big gossip. And they had front row seats.

Light makes a low growling sound as his hands come up to try and feebly push Sasuke off of him.

But it's useless, the damned Shinigami weighs like a baby elephant and it's quickly cutting off his air supply.

"I hate you so much." He gasps out as Sasuke's dazed face comes into view. Now that didn't seem right, he should be the one dazed. He's the one who took the brunt of the fall.

"Why does this keep happening?" Mumbles Sasuke, head bowed in apparent defeat.

"Get off me before I knee you in the groin."

"Hn." Slowly but surely, Sasuke's hands plant themselves on either side of Light's face - and all too suddenly Light feels very small as he stares at the Shinigami's arms.

_His muscles are bigger than my face!_

For a brief second Light is hit with gratitude of having a strong Shinigami on his side. L was human and weak compared to God's like Sasuke and Hidan. He smiled and took in a deep breath when Sasuke he pushes upwards – only to slam back down as a foot shamelessly steps on his back. Light and Sasuke cry out in shock and pain. Light wonders, amongst the stars in his mind, if this is what it feels like when a small building to collapses on you.

Sasuke whimpers.

_I take it back. Shinigami are useless! Sasuke is useless!_

The assailant steps gracefully off of Sasuke and walks to the front of the room with a put upon sigh.

"Can somebody sane tell me why there are two young men lying in the doorway of my classroom?"

A hand shoots up in the sea of students who fumble to hide their cameras. All the while Sasuke and Light continue to groan in the background.

L shuffles awkwardly into view, staring in wonder at the teacher who had stepped on his Kira suspect. Truly, a God among men.

"Yes, whatever your name is." The teacher waves vaguely at the hand. Two weeks in and he still hadn't bothered to memorize half of his students names.

"It's Sakura, sensei, and they're my teammates."

Light and L made vague sounds of distress at the same time Sasuke scowled in confusion. It was like she was kidnapping people at random.

"Doesn't answer the question of why there are two young men lying rather intimately in my doorway."

"I don't know, sensei, but I can't help noticing you used the word intimately."

Sasuke stumbles to his feet furiously, protests trapped in his throat as he trippes over Light's legs and topples back to the floor. Light's muffled wheezing was lost amongst the students murmurings of interest. Meanwhile L seemed to dance on the spot, trying to simultaneously both listen to these fascinating insinuations on Kira's sexuality and flee for Watari's social guidance.

"I didn't mean it like  _that_ , Sakura-san." Sighs the teacher, staring at his class dryly before turning to the sad heap on the floor. "Was that you Yürei-san, I saw just now?"

"…yes, sensei." Was the guilty reply.

His teacher's glasses flash. "I never expected this kind of barren behavior from you Yürei-san. Especially during school hours. I'm letting you off a warning this time, but if you disrupt other student's learning again I'll be writing to your brother."

"…Sorry, sensei."

"I like you, Yürei-san. Unlike most students I teach you truly seem to grasp the understanding and beauty of physics. You have a promising future ahead of you, I'd be disappointed to see you waste it."

"Sorry, sensei."

"Yes, yes." The man said, as he lent a hand to the young Shinigami. Hoisting him up then gazing curiously at the person who lay torpidly beneath his star pupil. "And who are you, young man?"

"My other teammate!" Piped Sakura, waving to Light on the floor enthusiastically.

Light's eyebrow twitched as he too stumbled to his feet.

"We are not teammates, Sakura-chan."

"Oh, please. Call me Sakura, Light!"

"No.  _No_." Light ran a frustrated hand through tangled hair. "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. But we  _cannot_  be teammates."

Sakura's smile drops, eyes turning cold. "Oh?"

"Yes."

"And why is that?"

That fall must have given him brain damage because he suddenly found himself incapable of thought. Which school rule was he going to use against Sakura? What number was it again? He's forgotten.  _Dammit_.

Light blinks and turns to L who was staring at him with eyes so wide they seemed to swallow his face whole. He looked catatonic. Probably was. Light did get the feeling he was useless in social situations, and for once he wished he were wrong.

For some reason he found himself turning to Sasuke.

Horrible decision, really.

The Shinigami scowls at him before heaving a sigh and saying, "he's already in a club."

_Nooooooooo!_

The answer seemed to take Sakura by surprise "Wha-huh, what?! What club?"

"The…" Sasuke squints. "Mystery…Club…"

That sounded so fake it knocked L out of his stupor.

"Light-kun, you're in a club already?"

 _Absolutely not._ "Yes."

"The Mystery Club?" Sakura asks, almost laughing. "And why have I never heard of it?"

"Yes, I'm interested in that too." Spoke up the teacher in interest as he narrows his gaze to Sasuke. Astonishingly, Sasuke seemed to stiffen under it. "I didn't see it on the roster."

"It's relatively new." The Shinigami grunts, swinging his eyes to Light in a silent plea for assistance.

Light just smiles.  _You reap what you sow._

Really, he should have known better than to antagonize a Death God.

Sasuke's eyes glint. "Light just started it and already has a case to solve."

"And what case is that? The mysterious vanishing of juice boxes in the cafeteria?"

"The Kira case."

L chokes so hard he almost falls over.

Students who were enraptured in the drama drew in a sharp, terrified breath. Even Sakura appears floored at the admission, having to sit down in shock.

Sasuke stares at Light's sudden blank face merrily. "Hn!"

"That's…" the teacher says grimly, "very brave of you Light-san - but also very foolish. Kira hasn't shown his tolerance of police investigations into him. Going so far as to murdering on live tv. You're risking your life, Light-san. Your  _life_."

"Sasuke's apart of the club too." Light adds swiftly in sweet revenge. Sasuke straightens with a low growl, eyes glowering.

"What does he do?" asks L after gaining his composure. Narrowing his suspiciouse gaze to Sasuke.

Light's brain immediately spins with thoughts and lands on one that fit perfectly.

"Forensics."

And just like that, the Mystery Club was born out of spite.

. . .


	8. Act 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a bit of a serious tone to it...

 

. ,

Fact of the Day: Justice is broken

. ,

Within the small confines of the Library Staff room, Light paces back and forth. Occasionally rubbing his head or muttering furiously to himself, expression growing tenser and tenser throughout the minutes. He was unruffled, he was angry and most of all, unnerved. How could things have gone downhill so fast –  _again_?! He was the type of person who could not function properly if something drastic interferes with his life on more than one occasion.

Light works on timetables, sets precise goals, if none of them are accomplished within his personal timeframe…this happens. He breaks down. The pressure of everything that's happened to him so far has been building and building inside of him. It was only a matter of time before the pressure burst. Resulting in this uncharacteristic side of him. This reaction used to terrify his parents when he was younger, so much so they had him go see a therapist.

Fat load of good that did him, he was a notorious serial killer now.

Light half-laughs and smacks his forehead with a fist.  _This is bad this is bad this is bad._

Sitting at the table and enjoying a warm cup of coffee was Sasuke - looking a bit sympathetic, but doing absolutely nothing to help.

"Why a club? Of all things, why that? Why a mystery club? Why the  _Kira_  case?" Light asks in outright disgust. Wondering what possible shit he could have done in his past life to deserve this. " _The Kira case!_  Of all options available, you pick that one. You could have made one up – easily pulled one out of your ass! But no," he resigns with an air of self-pity. "That would have been too  _simple_. That would have benefited me in some way. That would have made my life less complicated. A boon, a point in my direction - a good thing – which is, apparently, a foreign concept to the universe when it concerns my health."

Sasuke feels unnecessarily attacked and doesn't know how to respond to that.

He gives an innocent shrug.

Light shakes his head and points at him accusingly.

"You _\- you_ , go burst into flames and  _die_!"

"Technically, I'm already dead."

Light felt a sudden deep-seated desire to strangle him and scream hysterically. Stalking over to Sasuke he looms menacingly over him. Sasuke looks up and blinks. Baffled.

"With this aloof Mystery Club declaring its private investigation into the Kira case, I can't join the Task Force. You just _annihilated_ my plan," he makes a 'boom' gesture with his hands, "because I now apparently don't have the  _time_  to investigate the same case. Because, really,  _who_  would do that? In the police world working on a case with two separate people is like cheating on your wife!"

He shudders. "Worst of all, L thinks I'm investigating it with you!  _You!"_ Again, he points theatrically. "You've somehow wrangled yourself into my life. L thinks we're friends, pals _\- besties_. This has turned completely sour!"

Sasuke sips his coffee.

Light growls, doing a wonderful impression of the Shinigami.

"Don't think this won't effect you, you absolute walnut! L will now be investigating every spec of your existence. Your childhood, your family, your bank records – Christ, do you even have those?"

"Hn."

"Goody for you, then. You won't get kidnapped, but you will be observed 24/7."

That's fine, Sasuke nods. He's dealt with worse.

"He might even try and strike up conversations with you,  _daily_."

Sasuke splutters on his drink. Imagining himself being on the end of those panda eyes every day, and finding himself wishing to go back in time and pummel his past self.

Light's smile is full of sadistic glee.

Glee over Sasuke's pain. What a nice guy.

"Oh yes." Light practically purrs. Leaning down so he's face to face with the gloomy Shinigami. "He'll talk to you. Ask intrusive questions, tail you, bait you, do everything in his power to find out what makes you tick - what pisses you off." And just to make it painfully clear. "You'll have to be social."

"….hn."

Light was tempted to kick him in the side at such an anticlimactic response. Here he was loosing his icy-clean control over emotions and Sasuke doesn't even seem fazed.

It was unfair for him to be the only one freaking out.

"You," he nudges Sasuke with his foot, "why aren't you freaking out? This is bad."

Sasuke gives him such disappointed look it nearly makes Light feel guilty for reasons unknown. "I hate to admit it, but I honestly thought you had more tact than this. So something hasn't gone the way you planned, big deal, work around it."

"Are you…comforting me?" Light asks uneasily.

"Hn.  _No_ , I just don't want to deal with my charge loosing his mind over something so trivial. You're not a child, you're an adult, I'm almost embarrassed for you by this negative reaction. You're one of To-Oh's brightest students along with being a world-renowned serial killer, you didn't get this far by being negative."

Crap. He was right.

This was unlike him, he needs to calm down and think of a solution. Looking back Light tells himself he can work with this. He'll wait for L's next move to take place so he'll have some groundwork to go on. No doubt the detective wants to get close to Light, if what his recent actions are anything to go by. They're 'friends' and it's obvious – if you squint – that L want's him on the taskforce. He was probably waiting for Light to make the first move, but now this has happened L will be forced to make one.

An interesting turn of events, that's for sure, Light's curious to see what L will do now he can't join the Task Force.

"…Wait, your charge?" Light asks, perturbed and a little appalled.

"Hn. I'm technically your bodyguard."

_Better than babysitter, that's for sure._

Light's suddenly profoundly uncomfortable of the reminder that Sasuke – someone who's openly admitted of wanting him dead.  _Repeatedly_  - is his bodyguard.

"…Aren't you supposed to be writing all of this in a book?" he asks faintly for no reason other than a short brain malfunction.

To contradict him Sasuke pulls out a little yellow notebook labeled in black marker 'Yagami'.

"I've been writing in it since this morning."

Light stares. "When did you have the time to do that?"  _and where did you get the notebook from? Your apartment's so bare it looks brand new. Also, shouldn't it be considered bad luck for a Death God to be writing about your life down?_

Sasuke smiles, looking pleased with himself for a second – then quickly remembers  _why_  he has to write Light's life down.

Predictably, he growls. Clenching the notebook in his hand so tight the pages almost rip.

"Why can't you just die already?"

_This madman!_

Light actually throws his hands up in this air. Genuinely fed up with Sasuke longing for his death like a teenaged girl infatuated with their first crush. "This again!"

"Yes, ' _this again'_ ," Sasuke glowers at him. And it's a bit daunting (also a pat to his ego) to realize that Light is practically immune to glares from Death himself. "Ever since you appeared in my life…" he falls short quickly, eyebrows knitting together as he recalls something. "Didn't we have that discussion early this morning?"

"That was this morning?" Asks Light, taking a seat. "It feels like weeks ago."

"Hn."

They sit in companionable (not that they'd ever admit it) silence, letting themselves gather their bearings because they sure as Hell know rest of today won't be easy.

A thought gathers in Light's mind.

What if they  _make_  it easy?

"Sasuke," Light begins, conspiratorial gleam in his eyes. "Ever heard of the Science of Positive Thinking?"

"No."

…Why doesn't that surprise him?

"Ah," Light powers on, "it's this idea that if you think positively, positive things will happen. Sort of like karma but different."

"Hn. Didn't I just tell you something similar?"

"Yes, and I'm telling you now. You need to _think positive_. So far we've let bad things happen to us all day, and well, this is our retaliation."

Sasuke gives him a look.

"I know it sounds highly simplistic-almost on child's level, but it works."

The Shinigami closes his eyes and appears to be counting down from ten.

"You expect me," Sasuke begins quietly. "A God of  _Death_ , to think positively? Light, you moron, I'm  _Death_. You cannot shine light a light on Death. Death is an abyss of darkness and silence. You cannot poop  _rainbows_  on  _Death_!"

"When you put it like that," Light says dryly, staring intently at nothing. "It sounds rather silly."

"Hn." Sasuke grunts, glowering silently as he chugs down the coffee. A couple seconds later, after letting Light stew in silence, he asks, "So who exactly  _is_  this L guy?"

Light stares at him a short moment. Brain cells stuttering to a halt. "What?" he asks.

"He's a detective and is after you, I know that." Sasuke scowls, wishing he didn't have to ask this but knowing it was his duty to. "Everyone on planet Earth and the Shinigami Realm knows that, but who is he to  _you_? I need to know this so I can write it down. This journal needs to be thorough, and as such I require your thoughts on L. So," he leans into Light's personal space seriously. " You and L appear to be pretty friendly lately, what's up with that?"

Light continues to stare, mouth clamped shut tightly as a torrent of swear words dare to break free. "You…" he couldn't find the proper way to describe how wrong it is for the words 'L' and 'friendly' to be used in the same sentence. "How can…"

He clamps his mouth shut again, grinding his teeth together in frustration.  _Get yourself together. Do not let this Shinigami make a fool out of you for the…_  horrifically Light realizes how many times Sasuke's made him speechless. He eyes the Shinigami reproachfully. There was something about Sasuke - maybe it was the depressing air, implied accusation that he's murdered a bunch of orphans, and general disgust at everyone and everything within breathing distance - but there was something about Sasuke that made Light want to scream.

He was walking challenge to Light's icy-clean control. It was both remarkable and infuriating.

"I hate, L. I  _despise_ , L." Light tells Sasuke who raises an eyebrows, not expecting such a heated response. "He believes in the justice system, but how can he? How can he believe in something so corrupt – so, so  _synthetic_? Billions of people are failed by it every, single, day. The thing that we call justice is polluting humanity, rotting it to its very core of being. And the people who are perverting it have to be stopped. Everyone's realizing that now. They've been shown that putting people behind bars isn't good enough anymore. A more permanent approach is proving to be effective in stopping crime."

"So murder."

"Is it truly murder if it serves a purpose?"

"Yes."

"Then yes, murder is ironically the most efficient response to stopping the world from rotting. Justice should be harsh, locking people away…does L expect that solves everything? Does he think it actually works? That if he puts a murderer in prison, they'll get better? They're not insane, they know what they've done. They made a conscious decision in raping that girl and boy. They knew they were hurting that child. How could they not? How could they not hear their desperate pleas for someone to stop them, to help? Does L – thinking himself a saint – think they'd  _repent_? Hah!" Light throws his head back and  _laughs_. "This broken thing we call the justice system, it's not enough. L's too blind and arrogant to see that. Criminals don't get better in prison, they get worse. And once they're out they're only going to do it, again, and again, and again. I've seen it happen, we all have – be it on the news or personally.

"How can L let that happen? Let this horrible  _pain_  happen to people all because he doesn't have the guts to get his hands a little dirty." Light slams an open palm on the table. "I've drenched mine! My hands are  _dripping_  in blood. Why can't he appreciate that? I've killed so many people, all guilty of crimes that would make even the strongest of persons stay awake at night. L sees himself as the good guy, protecting his righteous beliefs. And me? Someone who's willing to take the cotton off the world's eyes, show them the true broken  _pathetic_  nature of the justice system, is seen as evil? Someone who's willing to kill for their happiness and safety is considered  _evil_? I'm conquering the evil! I'm the one who's doing right. I'm going to pull the whole justice system down on its knees and make it my bitch.

"You asked what I think of L, Sasuke. I think L is a deluded son of a bitch that's weak in spirit but strong in mind. He's childish, awkward and has a disgusting sweet tooth. He lacks impulse control and has no patience. His principles are shaky and unclear. He's willing to do anything it takes to put Kira down - because he feels threatened. Like a child in a sandbox, he feels  _threatened_  by me." His smile turns vicious. "  _And I like that_."

Sasuke stares at him and nods slowly as he opens the notebook, positioning a pen (which came from nowhere) "Could you repeat that?"

This time Light does lunge at Sasuke. The Shinigami tips backwards in his chair with master balance, allowing Light to topple over and land awkwardly on his lap.

"Child." Sasuke scoffs, shoving the human off of him. "Learn some self-control."

"If I didn't have such wonderful self-control I would have stabbed you in the eye this morning." Light grumbles from the floor, not bothering to get up. He sighs. "This has been such a long day."

"It's not even noon yet."

If Light were standing up he would have stomped his foot.

Then the door dramatically swings open and Light almost clings to the ceiling in shock. He doesn't miss how Sasuke is equally stunned at the new arrival.

"Sasuke-san! You're late for wor – oh,  _Light_?"

"Ayame-chan?" Light asks incredulously. Wondering what pit of Hell he's stepped into.

"What the – why is my little ball of sunshine and pleasantness doing with the epicenter of Doom and Gloom?"

Sasuke growls at that. Only cementing her point.

Light's about to use his silver tongue before realizing another lie would only add another layer of chaos built onto his and Sasuke's misunderstood friendship.

He goes with the horrid truth.

"We're in a club."

Ayame looks floored. Torn between disbelief and hysterical laughter.

"A club." She repeats. "Okay….and why does that involve you lying on the floor like road-kill?" Her eyes zero in on a particularly apathetic looking Sasuke, they glint dangerously. Promising death. Light wonders how many degrees of irony that is. "He didn't hurt you did he? His words can be pretty destroying. He once made a student cry just by  _looking_  at him. Of course, that person also fell down a flight of stairs but still! He met Sasuke-san's eyes, seconds later immediately take a nosedive down the staircase. Coincidence my cute little ass, Sasuke-san!"

Personally knowing the Shinigami's bad luck, Light feels he is inclined to believe that ridiculous story. Purely because it's ridiculous.

Sasuke shrugs. "He fell."

"My ass."

"He didn't do anything, Ayame-chan." Sighs Light.

"Oh shit you sighed." She points accusingly at Sasuke who jerks back as though struck. "You! I told you your aura pollutes people!"

"You said no such thing." Sasuke defends.

"I'm certain I've at least said something along those lines, though."

"Hn."

"Knew it." She smirks before staring down Light like she used to when babysitting him. Light's suddenly struck by an old memory of him as a child getting scolded and shivers. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired, Ayame-chan. My house burned down yesterday, you know." He plays the tragedy card. It works instantly and her expression softens considerably. It must be the first time Sasuke's seen her look so genuine because his jaw almost drops.

"Oh, I know sweetie." She kneels besides Light who was now getting into a sitting position. Feeling awkward at having a conversation lying down. "Your mum and sister are staying at my parents house. I was told you were rooming it with a friend, and that it might be permanent."

What?  _Permanent_?

Light whirls to Sasuke in barely retained fury (also horror, there was a lot of horror).

Ayame's eyes go from Light to Sasuke and Light again. She displays the horror his soul was screaming.

"Oh you are  _joking_." She asks disbelievingly, stabbing a finger to Sasuke who looked a bit miffed at getting repeatedly insulted in front of his person. "You're rooming with  _him_? That gloomy bastard?" She asks with feeling.

For once, Light found himself understanding another person's emotions.

"Haven't you heard?" Light smiles, "We're friends."

She pauses, and laughs in his face. "Oh this is hilarious!"

Light, for reasons unknown, feels betrayed.

. ,

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts! :D


	9. Act 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: So I started this chapter so many times, never finding a plot which satisfies me. But finally, i landed on one which involves a lot of different characters! Sorry it took so long, my previous laptop broke on me *cries* Everything I had on it is gone but I'm trying to be positive. Fresh new start for the oncoming new year.
> 
> Happy belated Halloween :D Hope you enjoy this update.
> 
> Warning: swearing.

 

. . .

Fact of the Day: Hidan can't handle emotional girls

. . .

_Somewhere on Earth #43…_

"Would you look at this!" Kiba strides through the Hokage's door, waving his report in the air victoriously. "Look at this!"

"Err, what?" Said Naruto, peering up from his desk load of work.

"I finished my report!"

Naruto squints.

"Seriously?"

"Bet your small hairy ass I did."

"My ass is neither small, nor hairy, Kiba."

"You can't lie about these things, Naruto," Kiba says meaningfully, "You can't lie to my nose."

He coughs, "Lets not talk about my ass, Kiba. I'm Hokage now, I have a reputation to uphold and if people find out I discuss such juvenile matters I'll be ruined. Dattebayo!"

"Uh huh," Kiba nods, "So it wasn't you i saw yesterday sticking dung paper bombs into newbie ANBU recruit lockers, huh?"

"You can't prove that. And besides, they weren't dung bombs. They were paint bombs. Completely different things. "

Kiba leers at his Hokage, tapping his nose. "You can't lie to my sniffer, Naruto. They smelled like shit."

"Eeh," Naruto scratches the back of his head, chuckling. "Don't tell Hinata."

"Like Hell I'd tell her, she'll hand me my ass for not doing anything to save the newbies."

Naruto squints again, "What's with you and the word 'ass' today?"

Shrugging, Kiba hands his boss the report he came to give. "Don't know. I think it's because I came back from tracking some assholes by their underwear."

Naruto grimaces.

Kiba grimaces back.

Twenty seconds into the report Naruto notices Kiba hasn't left.

"Anything else I can do for you, Kiba?"

His friend's easy going atmosphere turns serious. "Actually, I was wondering if I could do anything for  _you."_

He freezes for a second before laughing.

It didn't sound right.

Sadly, Kiba began to understand why Shikamaru pulled him aside the minute he passed through Konoha's gate. Asking him to check in on Naruto since tomorrow would be…

His heart clenches.

"Shikamaru put you up to this, didn't he?"

"Nothing get's by you anymore, does it."

"I can't let it." Naruto turns to stare up at Kiba, but the man got the feeling he wasn't looking at him. Not really. "Last time I let something -  _someone_ , get by me, he ended up dead."

"You were a kid, Naruto. You couldn't have done anything. Nobody could have. Sasuke was hell-bent on fighting Madara - you know how he was. Stubborn as an old goat."

The Hokage huffed, returning to the report. "You can leave now, Kiba. I don't need a shoulder to cry on."

"I'm not asking for you to tell me your woes, Naruto. I'm asking if there's anything I can do to make you feel better. Have a spar, get you ramen,  _anything_." He plants his palms firmly on the end of the desk, leaning in, making sure his gaze penetrates the blonde man. "I'm your friend, tell me how I can help."

Silence.

Naruto looks up slowly. "Tomorrow's his birthday."

And the way he says it, with eyes like dark wells - hurts Kiba. It always does. Every year. Kiba hates it. He hates how Sasuke, even in death, can cause Naruto such emotional torment.

Planting a careful hand on Naruto's haunched shoulder, he sighs. "I know man, I know."

And Kiba hates how it hurts him too. He barely even liked the guy - but in the end…Sasuke pulled through. Risked his life just like the rest of them in trying to stop the war. Fighting besides them and saving their asses more times than he'd like to count.

Kiba can't ignore that.

Naruto scrubs a hand over his face, "I wish I could just get over it already. It's been eight years. I'm Hokage - "

"He was your friend." Kiba cuts in sharply. "It was war. People died. A  _lot_  of people. We're all still healing despite our happy appearances. Naruto," he moves his hand to cup the back of the man's neck, making his leader pay attention to what he was saying. "Just because you're Hokage doesn't exclude you from being human. Sasuke was important to you, it's alright to still be affected by his death. Especially this week."

"…Thank's, Kiba,"

"Anytime, man."

Gaze spacey, Naruto smiles, "Hey, you think Sasuke's alright wherever he is?"

Holding back a relieved sigh, Kiba releases his leader and puts on a nonchalant air. "Honestly man, I think Sasuke's brooding like a prissy little bitch. Probably wholly unimpressed with whatever place he's in. "

"Kiba!"

. . .

_Back on Earth #67…_

Sasuke stands in line for coffee, pondering things.

He had just spent a full half-hour forging documents to make Light's 'Mystery Club' the real deal. During that half-hour, he had come to terms with this bullshit of a situation he's found himself in. For instance, being on L's radar - that freaky looking imp with smudged eyeshadow - and dealing with Light's inclination to misunderstandings/bad luck/mass murder/blaming everything on him.

A very vindictive part of him wanted to  _not_  deal with Light's general person and chop his head off already. This mission was overstaying its welcome in his life (hah) and Sasuke was certain if Light doesn't join the taskforce like he's been planning to he'll do something drastic to get the ball rolling.

Sasuke tries to ignore that part. Because that's the part which made him join Orochimaru and look how awesome that ended.

He does wonder though, partly out of curiosity and partly because he's bored, whether the Mystery Club will actually become a  _thing_. Will he actually have to do forensics? Will he actually have to bullshit his way through an investigation on Kira?

He wonders if Light feels a bit awkward investigating himself.

He wonders how many insults he could make towards Kira during the 'investigation' before Light decks him in the face. The thought makes Sasuke's lips twitch.

_The little imp can try._

…He wonders if L will join the Mystery Club.

He has an inkling that the panda just might.

"Bwugh," Sasuke groans, lolling his head back to stare at the ceiling. A weird coffee-bean cartoon smiles at him.

He scowls in confusion.

"Next!" barks a worn looking woman working as cashier. Sasuke strides up and confidently orders his beverage.

. . .

"There's a sixty-five percent chance you made up the Mystery Club to get out of joining the tennis team," L drops into the seat besides Light in the library, voice hushed as to not draw any attention from the soft chatter around them.

Light forces down the instinct to scream 'fuck off' because he was in a highly irritable mood. Sasuke had up and vanished in a puff of smoke not soon after Ayame left to hunt after the 'Tina bitch', leaving Light stranded in the Library. He only had one class today, and he was hoping to have spent the afternoon writing names in the Death Note after a quick trip to the mall (his plan was to leech off of Sasuke to buy a new laptop and wireless internet - both needed for school and news reports about criminals).

Thanks to a hapless-ridden Shinigami, his hopes were dashed.

Sasuke is nowhere to be seen, and Light doesn't have a clue as to the location of his apartment. So he's stuck in the library, being interrogated by L.

He forces down the brief spill of self-pity, and focuses on L. An opportunity to talk about the Taskforce and whether or not Light is still invited to join.

"Oh?" Light gives an amused grin, head resting on hand and giving the detective his full attention.

"Hmm," L nods seriously, thumb rubbing on his lower lip, "I can't say for certain whether the Club a lie or not. You do have a history of getting involved with police cases and solving them yourself. From what your father tells me, you have a hero-complex the size of Mars. Impressive - cheesy and questionable considering you're a high-profile serial killer in dire need of antipsychotics — but impressive altogether."

Light laughs, not having to hide his bewilderment.

"If you  _were_  lying however, Light-kun, I feel a little bit left out."

"Huh, why?"

L looks miffed, "If you've forgotten Light-kun - which I highly doubt considering the level of your apparent intelligence - I  _too_  am a victim of being forced into the Tennis Club. I feel extremely put out of you not mentioning me in being in this Mystery Club. I've been dodging Tennis members all morning."

He wants to join.

But the Taskforce -  _doesn't matter. I needed to get close to L either way - the Taskforce was just a means to an end. Being in a club together is just as perfect._

But Sasuke's in the club…

 _Hmf_.

Light can always kick him out.

"Ryuga-san," Light cocks his head, smile charming. "Do you want to join my Club?"

"Yes."

No beating around the bush here is there?

"Are you sure?" He asks cautiously, "You already have a Taskforce to take care of, you can't possibly be in two places at once investigating the  _same_  case. That's a little too much to take on, Ryuga-san."

He has to force down the laughter when there's a hint of ire in L's coal eyes.

"While your concern is heart-warming," does he detect sarcasm? "I'd rather work with you Light-kun."

"I'm flattered that you have so much faith in my capabilities as a detective Ryuga-san, but I'm nothing compared to the experienced detectives you have aiding your investigation."

"They're a bunch of well-meaning,  _bumbling_  morons, Light-kun. They're overly sentimental, it's annoying and a hazard."

"Careful, that's my father you're talking about, Ryuga-san." Squinting he asks, "And don't you think you're being a little harsh? They must be good at something."

"Absolutely nothing."

"I see," Light says. "Alright then, I'll consider it."

"No consideration is  _needed_ ," L harrumphs, shuffling on his chair. "You know who I am, what I can bring to the table, what's holding you back, Light-kun?"

_The joy I am receiving from watching you squirm._

"I have to consult it with Sasuke, but…" he trails off hesitantly, "To tell you the truth I think he has to go. He's not exactly a team player and -"

"No."

_What?_

He doesn't have to fake the shock.

"Pardon?"

"There's a four percent chance he's in league with Kira," he says with a meaningful look. Purposefully raking his eyes over Light, and Light…

Light wants to kick a puppy.

_That damned Shinigami._

"Whatever lead you to that assumption, Ryuga-san?" he asks, letting confusion show.

L tilts his head, "Yūrei Sasuke is your best friend,  _hence_  him being in league with Kira," another pointed look to Light's person, "isn't an entirely unreasonable conclusion."

The Shinigami's Bad Luck has struck again.

Victim, naturally, Light.

"A sound assumption,  _if_ ," he pressures, hoping to get it across, "we were best friends. Which we are not, I can assure you."

"All the evidence points towards the likelihood of you two being  _close_ , Light-kun," L says slowly, with great import and audacity. "For example, you didn't use an honorific when speaking Sasuke-san's name."

 _Oh_. "Oh." … _Fuck_. "Well spotted."

"Thank you, Light-kun." L's eyes gleam victoriously at his win.

_Pretentious little -_

He breathes.

"I concede, Ryuga-san, Sasuke and I can be  _considered_  close. But we are not friends."

"You share each other's clothes," L points out. Bobbing his head towards Light's baggy shirts and pants.

Huffing, Light waves a dismissive hand, "strenuous circumstances lead to that, I'm afraid."

"You're roommates."

"Circumstances, Ryuga-san. My house burnt down, you see…"

"You started a club together, Light-kun." L rallies with feeling, "A  _club_. And about that burning house - "

"Which I'm still considering you to join," Light tries to change subject of conversation before he flips the table. This conversation was quickly veering off the course he desired. "And I'm curious as to why you'd want to. Again, you have a taskforce filled with experienced detectives backing you."

"I want us to be friends, and you're smarter than them."

His ulterior motive detector dings.

"That simple, huh?"

"Yes, and about that burning house." L inches close, eyes imploring, "What was that about?"

Light blinks, perplexed. "What was that about?"

"Yes, why did it burn down?"

"Why did my house burn down?"

" _Yes_ , what happened?"

"What  _happened_?" His house burned down that's what happened. It isn't a very difficult concept to understand.

They were veering off course again and Light was struggling to get a grip on the steering wheel.

"You're developing a very annoying habit of repeating what I say, Light-kun." L narrows his eyes suspiciously, "Is there something you're trying to hide?"

For once, not entirely. The only tidbit of information missing is that a God of Death was the perpetrator.

"Why would I?" Light chuckles bitterly, "My house burned down, end of story. Nothing magnificent or mysterious about it."

"Isn't there?" The Detective leans forward eagerly, and Light has to rear back a little to avoid bumping noses. "Because I find it highly skeptical that your room exploded the  _exact_   _day_  I tell you you're a Kira suspect. It's almost as though you had to destroy evidence. Quickly."

"A bit of an extreme way to go about destroying evidence, Ryuga-san. Don't you think?"

Also burning evidence so obviously on the day L tells him he's a Kira suspect  _would_  bring unwanted attention to himself and up the percentage of him being Kira.

Didn't L just say he was smart? What he was describing was the actions of an impudent average human being. Surely L doesn't think he's so...impulsive or a bit dim.

But, depressingly enough, he does.

Light doesn't know whether he could use that to his advantage or not. Would his pride be able to take it?

"Murdering purse snatchers is a bit extreme - I'm not underestimating how childish Kira is, Light-kun. Nor  _impulsive_." L leans in again and Light is slightly amazed the Detective hasn't fallen yet. He's past the 'Leaning Tower of Pisa' and more of a gangly version of Michael Jackson.

[In Light's defence, though, murdering the purse snatcher was during a time of desperation as his house was filled with surveillance cameras. His only semi-reliable source of information was a mini LCD tv hidden inside a chip packet. Given those circumstances, Light deserves a pat on the back not criticism.]

"And that house explosion just reeks of impulsiveness."

Light hums, "Interesting, Ryuga-san. Interesting," he smiles sadly, "but I'm afraid it wasn't me. No pyromaniac tendencies here."

"Hmm," L's lips twitch as he hides a smirk, "what about Sasuke-san?"

_...What?_

"What about Sasuke?" Light's unable to stop himself from asking.

"You're repeating again," L bites his thumb, eyes impossibly wide as he gauges Light's response. "From what I heard, Sasuke and an unidentified man were with you during the time of the house explosion. What were - "

"Are you interrogating me, Ryuga-san?" Light frowns.

Quickly backtracking, L removes himself from Light's personal space and sighs, appearing sheepish. "Apologies, Light-kun. I got a bit carried away," he attempts to smile, "I hope you forgive me."

"I'm not angry, Ryuga-san," tone warm,  _comforting_. "You just caught me off guard with all these questions." Not a lie, Light didn't expect L to be investigating his house fire so…brashly. He still hasn't yet got a grasp on how that man operates. He was used to the man behind the screen, not the man himself. Speaking like this in the open: offering an obvious artificial friendship, spilling casual lies and hiding agendas.

Light was simultaneously excited to challenge a mind like his own, and furious there  _was_  a mind like his own.

One fighting against his ideals and branding him 'evil'.

"Understandable, I guess," L hums, looking contemplative. "A trusted individual  _has_  explained to me in the past that interrogating people you want as friends is not a good starting point." Oh, there's got to be a story behind that, " -  _but_  you're a Kira suspect…so I suppose I'm going to have to ignore that advice for now." L gives him a look, "I hope you don't mind."

What a jerk.

"I understand," Light nods and folds his hands together, "Does this mean I will be expecting future interrogations?"

"Definitely."

Worth asking. Now he won't be so caught off guard like before with absurd questions.

"Hmm," he covers his scowl with a smile.

"Does this mean i can get an answer on why your house burned down? One without lies would be preferable."

"I don't know what I can say to convince you it was a simple house fire, Ryuga-san."

"I am mildly concerned your idea of a simple house fire is equivalent to a bomb, Light-kun." L stresses. "But…I can see you aren't going to divulge anything else on the matter. Shame, I really am curious as to what went down last night and how Sasuke-san is involved. Also who that man is."

"Sasuke wasn't involved."

Lies. Horrible lies.

"Then why was he there?"

Having no response to that which would seem convincing and not sound like him and Sasuke are friends, Light switches topics. "Nothing exciting, I'm afraid Ryuga-san,"  _just Sasuke trying to kill me with a fucking katana,_  "And honestly I'm getting tired of discussing this."

L stares, "Are you."

_Oh for the love of God._

"Yes," he nods emphatically, putting on an air of depression, "I don't like talking about my house blowing up. It's still very fresh."

"Is it," L practically drawls.

"I lost stuff. Very important and sentimental stuff."

" _Uh huh."_

Light grinds his teeth and opens his mouth, only to pause when he smells burnt coffee.

Oh no.

L's eyes gleam impossibly bright at the newcomer behind him.

 _Oh no_.

L and Sasuke in the same room together just reeks of disaster and jail time. He needs to hoof it out of here fast before Sasuke blows the lid off of him being Kira. He wouldn't put it past the hapless Shinigami to spill his secrets out of spite.

. . .

"Hn," Sasuke grunts lamely when a pair of calculating eyes settle on him. This human was going to be a problem, Sasuke bitterly knew.

So like all his problems, Sasuke is going to ignore it.

Taking a sip of his beverage, Sasuke boops his knee against the back of Light's chair. "Are your classes finished?"

Light glances up at him, looking simultaneously irked by his presence and disturbed by his bizarrely lit face from the glare of lights above.

"I am," Light starts ominously, "I have been for the past half-hour." Going by the tone of Light's voice it was insinuated Sasuke should feel bad about something.

"Hn."

"Never mind," the murderer sighs. "I suppose you're fetching me for something?"

"Hn," Sasuke dutily bobs his head, "Ayame doesn't look like she'll be needing me for anything," he doesn't bother risking a glance to the checkout desk. He was strategically standing in her blindspot, draped by the shadows around him.

No working overtime for him today.

No more dealing with that wretched female human for him today.

"My classes are done," not that he attended them properly thanks to Light's drama with L, "Lets head...home." He tries not to throw up a little in his mouth at that.

"Actually," Light smiles a very charming smile, "we need to go shopping."

Sasuke looked like he could murder someone.

" _Shopping_?" he spits.

"Now  _he's_  repeating," Sasuke hears the sleepy leviathan mutter moodily.

The last time Sasuke went shopping it was when he was still alive. A lonely child. He remembers trial after trial of attempting to recreate his mother's meals but never getting it right.

Sasuke shakes his head to clear himself of surfacing memories.

"No," he grunts and takes a stern sip of coffee.

"Yes," Light nods.

"Maa, Light-kun," L chimes in, voice overriding Sasuke's threatening growl. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"We aren't friends." the two compatriots of terror protest.

"Hmm," L looks suitably impressed by their continual denial despite incriminating evidence. "Then why do you live together?" Like that.

"It was my brother's idea," Sasuke decides to shove responsibility onto Hidan. Ignoring how the word 'brother' leaves a bitter taste in the back of his mouth.

L turns to Light, delight evident in his eyes. "So that unidentifiable man last night was Sasuke's brother?"

Light glances furiously to Sasuke for a nano-second, "Yes."

"And you didn't tell me this, Light-kun, because…"

"Didn't feel like it."

"How childish," hums L, "just like Kira."

Light laughs through a tirade of silent curses.

And Sasuke, being the kindhearted soul that he was, saves Light from further embarrassment.

He scowls at L, "this has been fun, but we're leaving."

"Hmm, but we still haven't yet been introduced Sasu -" and before L knows it, his eyes meet Sasuke's Sharingan.

Light gawks.

"What the hell is that?" he demands.

"Nothing to concern yourself over," Sasuke warns, observing the detective whose mind was miles away inside his genjutsu. Should hold for a while - when L comes back to awareness he won't be able to properly recall when or how they left - but it won't bother him. Every time he'll worry over it he'll be overcome with the desire to sleep.

He'll also have an odd craving for coffee.

"He won't bother us leaving."

"You can compel people?" Light asks, staring at Sasuke and not looking as impressed as he ought to be. Sasuke felt cheated for reasons unknown. "Like a  _vampire_? Twilight?"

"What the fuck is a Twilight?"

Light stares for a moment, "better you don't know."

Sasuke takes his word for it.

"Hn. I don't compel people I…influence."

"Yeah," Light looks at him funnily, "you compel. Like a vampire. You're a vampire."

"I'm a Shinigami you little imp!"

"Shhh!" the entire library hisses at them suddenly.

There's a heartbeat of silence before Light pettily mimics a pair of fangs with his fingers.

Sasuke threatens to backhand him.

"Oooh you better not have threatened my baby with violence, Sasuke-san or I  _will_  castrate you."

His strategic blindspot has been blown.

Light and Sasuke's eyes meet each other, both expressing a mutual interest in fleeing. Sasuke grabs him by the arm, hauls him up - Light barely has time to gather his things - and shushins them away.

To an outsider, it would have looked as though they legged it out of the library from a fuming Ayame. Nobody could blame them.

. . .

Whatever Sasuke and Light were expecting when they arrived at the apartment, it certainly wasn't Hidan guiltily sitting on the couch.

Sasuke squints at him suspiciously, taking a sip of coffee.

"What did you do?"

"What makes you think i did anything?" Grunts Hidan, crossing him arms like a moody five-year-old and avoiding eye contact.

Sasuke gives him a look.

Hidan puffs and wags a finger at him. "Just a reminder, you've done worse shit than me and I haven't complained."

"Yes you have."

"Okay, so I complained a bit, but I forgave you."

"No you haven't."

Hidan huffs and goes red, sulking into to the couch until he resembled a spineless insect.

Light hovers besides Sasuke, looking simultaneously uncertain and extremely interested.

"What did you do, Hidan?" Sasuke repeats his question, striding towards him until he was looming over the older Shinigami. "What did you do?"

"It's rather what I was forced  _not_  to do that's the issue here," Hidan scowls at nothing in particular before his eyes settle on Sasuke. With a long growl he confesses, "I couldn't sacrifice her to Jashin-sama!"

"Who's 'Jashin-sama'?" Light asks as he dumps his school books on the coffee table.

"'Who's Jashin-sama' this plebeian asks me," Hidan mocks, "'Whose Jashin-sama'"

"Hidan," Sasuke cuts in sternly, "Who couldn't you sacrifice and why do you look guilty instead of furious?"

"I'm not guilty, rather…" he grimaces, "I pity."

Sasuke felt doom overshadow him. Hidan only pities people who are condemned to a tragic existence. Sasuke already thought he had a tragic existence. Was there more pain to come?

Hidan's look wasn't comforting in the least.

"Remember you little shit," Hidan straightens gruffly, "I didn't complain about you accidentally sending that Buddhist to hell."

"Yes you did."

"Fucking fine!" he throws his hands up in the air and rips the bandaid off saying, "King didn't want me to reap this girl because he figures she'll make things more interesting."

Sasuke doesn't understand, and glancing to Light - despite the teenager nodding along, he doesn't understand either.

"Hn. And this is bad for me because…"

Hidan doesn't know whether to look pitying anymore or not. "I kind of…didn't know how to proceed after almost chopping her head off. She fainted from sheer fucking fright and it was all Déjà vu from last night, so I figured, eh. What the hell."

Sasuke felt like crying when it dawns on him.

"Hidan, you didn't…"

Hidan winced and meekly points to the bedroom Light had occupied last night. Sasuke crookedly turns to the ill-fated door.

"What did he do?" Light asks him, feeling the doom Sasuke knew intimately. "Déjà vu…last night…Oh." He groans in horror, staring at the older Shinigami in extreme disbelief. " _Ooh_ no you didn't did you?"

"Don't fucking look at me like I killed someone," Hidan huffs, offended.

"I wish you  _did_  kill someone," Light confides and blinks when Sasuke walks by him towards the door. "You're not going to kill her are you?"

"Don't sound so hopeful," Sasuke scowls. Hearing footsteps behind him, Sasuke glances back to see Light following him. A thought occurs. "You could probably get away with killing her though."

"You say it like a suggestion."

_Maybe because it is._

With one last sigh he turns the door knob and opens his new bag of responsibility.

The sight they met looked like a bdsm porn magazine.

"What the shit?" Light whispers besides him, genuinely baffled - but Sasuke is too stunned to say anything.

The blindfolded and bound girl screams behind her gag in terror. We're those…socks. In her mouth?

The image of his superior in the next room barefoot flashes in his mind.

 _Hidan's_. Socks?

He shivers in sympathetic disgust.

The girl - Amane Misa if he's reading her name correctly above her blonde pigtailed head - was wearing a black tutu, intricately designed black leather top, and tied up with black socks he assumes were hers going by the colour scheme.

How versatile of Hidan.

She strains viciously against them. Shest rising fiercely with each attempt to break free and escape.

Muffled cries echo loudly against his ears.

This was…he really doesn't know. He's never been in this type of situation before. He's never kidnapped a teenage girl before.

How does one proceed?

"She's really trying there, isn't she?" Light drawls faintly, wincing when she capsizes off the bed with an embarrassing whimper and thump.

"I'm almost rooting for her," Sasuke agrees, wondering whether he should help her get back on the bed or not. He almost does - but then the girl is standing and sprinting towards them with a war cry.

Sasuke fumbles with the door handle for a second before yanking it shut and feeling the wood vibrate when the girl rams head first into it. There's a thud and Sasuke thinks she's knocked herself out cold.

Yeouch.

He turns towards Light who's staring at him in befuddlement and calculation. Probably wondering how this will effect his growing relationship with L and whether or not he should kill her.

Light's definitely going to Hell if he's prioritising like that.

Taking a breath, Sasuke faces Hidan who had now migrated into the destroyed kitchen to grab a cold beer from the fridge. A beer he was practically drowning in.

"Why?" was all he asked.

Hidan looks equally perplexed. "No clue, King thinks she'll be an interesting player in the game."

"No," he tries to get Hidan understand the problem. Like a sane person - shinigami,  _whatever._  "Why did you tie her up like a sack of meat?"

"I'm no good with people," Hidan frowns as though they should feel sorry for him. Sasuke scoffs. " _Especially_  emotional teenaged girls."

Okay he'll give him that one - only because Sasuke can sympathise. But that is no excuse for kidnapping.

"She's not just  _any_  emotional teenage girl," Light chimes in ominously and Sasuke wants to hit him for adding more headaches to his already undesirable existence. "I recognise her from my little sister's magazines."

"Why do I get the feeling i'm not going to like where you're going with this?" groans Hidan, expressing Sasuke's annoyance.

Light levels them a tragic look.

Oh no.

"She's Misa Misa.  _The Idol_."

"What the flippidy fuck is an Idol?"

"Riiight," Light pinches the bridge of his nose, "you're both uncultured Shinigami. If you don't know what Twilight is, then you definitely don't know what an Idol is."

Across the room Hidan mouths to Sasuke 'Twilight'? Sasuke shrugs with an airy wave of helplessness.

"An idol is someone who children look up to and aspire to be. They're essentially young role models, always thrusted into the media spotlight to be a representation of what everyone should aspire to be. If one of them goes missing…" he trails off gloomily and rolls his eyes heavenwards. "We're doomed."

"E-eh?" Hidan glowers, "why? Nobody knows she's here."

"Don't underestimate the power of fans. They're a force to be reckoned with."

"It's Hidan-sama to you, twinkle toes." the Shinigami pulls himself to full hight, "And like Hell anybody could know she's here, I used Shushin to get to and from her apartment. Nobody saw me and -" he paused, "Nobody  _saw_   _me_."

"I hope not, otherwise we're -."

"Doomed. Yeah. You really don't have much faith in Shinigami, do you?"

"I haven't met any impressive ones so far."

Hidan materializes his scythe - and with a beer in one hand and a weapon in the other, he stalks towards him. Unintentionally proving Light's point.

Sasuke leans against the door and growls. Ignoring the whimper he hears from the kidnapped Idol.

This was a disaster.

. . .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Questions? :D Please review!


	11. Act 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This chapter took me forever to do. But I'm baack~

. | .

Sasuke kneels in front of the sobbing idol they had tied to the kitchen chair and grimaces. Muffled whimpers and cries escape through the socks Light had shoved back into her mouth the moment he could.

Said human stood behind Sasuke, brows furrowed in deep thought.

"If we do kill her," he starts in all seriousness, "should it be by hand or the book?"

The idol lets out a moan and drops her head.

Sasuke turns around to stare at Light, expression exceptionally blank. "Why are you talking about ways to kill the victim  _in front_  of the victim?"

Light looks unnecessarily attacked. "Well where else will we talk about it? She'll hear us either way in this damned apartment. Sound travels, you know."

"These are sound-proof walls, you primate."

"They are  _not_ ," Light says, eyes wide. "I could hear you brush your teeth this morning. Your  _teeth_."

"Hn. I've never heard Hidan brush his teeth before."

"Maybe that explains his bad breath."

Simultaneously, Sasuke and Light 'ahh' in understanding before jerking in surprise when Misa begins withering in her bonds. Spitting the socks out and squealing in rage.

"What did you put in my mouth you BDSM, serial killer, mother-fucking  _perverts_!"

Light gawps indignantly. Not expecting to hear something so depraved to come out an idol. "Did-did she just call us  _perverts_?"

"I did! And I'm surprised that's the first thing you ask about after I called you serial-killers!" She growls in the general direction of Light's voice, "and what did you put in my mouth?! They smelt like my dad's old socks.  _Yuck_!"

Sasuke and Light share a mutual look.

"Oh nothing, really," Sasuke drawls, standing up languidly and seating himself on the edge of the kitchen table. 

"Don't lie to me you perverts!"

"We're not perverts," Light sighs. Picking up the socks and stuffing them back in her mouth only to have them pop back out like whack-a-mole. He growls and tries again. The same thing happens. "Could you stop that?"

"Try again. Maybe this time I'll manage to bite you."

"Maybe he'd like it," Sasuke quips in the background, "after all he's a pervert."

Misa reclines her head back in disgust while Light shoots Sasuke a dark look.

"You so much as touch me and my team of lawyers will – mmph!" Light shoves Hidan's socks in deep.

"Do we have any duct tape?" He asks, hand pressed to keep them in.

"Hn. Nope," Sasuke materializes his scythe and presses the tip of the hooked blade against Misa's jugular. The idol freezes like stone. "You. Shut up. Or get knocked out, we clear?"

She makes an affirmative sound and is still tense even after Sasuke releases the blade.

"I have no problem in you killing her," Sasuke says, ignoring how Misa visibly swallows a whimper. "And if you want my opinion," he adds innocently, "do it by hand."

"I do it by hand there's a chance I'll leave trace evidence that would lead back to me."

"Aah, really?"

Light snorts at the innocent act and opens a hand. "The notebook, if you will."

"Tch," Sasuke makes a motion of picking something from the air, and within a blink Light's holding the Death Note. "I'll be out getting coffee. When I get back make sure she's…" he waves at the idol dismissively, "well, not here and preferably dead."

. | .

When he disappears in a swirl of dust and leaves, Light's still for a moment. Fingers rubbing over worn leather he's dreamt about for what feels like eternity.

Silently, he takes a step and stops in front of the idol. A single hand raises itself and ghosts in front of the blindfolded girl, tracing down her nose, lips... Knowing something wasn't right, Misa leans back. Breathing erratic. She was terrified, he knew that, and somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind – tucked away and crying out - he was sympathetic. Really he was but…

_I've always wondered…_

His hand moves further down.

_I've always wondered what it would feel choking someone to death._

He grips her throat, thumbs digging in and  _squeezing_.

A terrible gasp leaves her lips and the chair rocks.

He counts down from seventy, watching and feeling her struggle before the lack of oxygen hits and she looses consciousness. Cautiously, he releases her and checks for a pulse. It's there and slow, but she's still alive.

Alive…Light grimaces, not feeling satisfied but knowing it was for the best. He couldn't personally dispose of the body and he knows Sasuke wouldn't do it. Yes, it was best for her to do it on her own. But.

Still.

He would have liked…

Light looks down at his trembling hand, and clenches.

. | .

Carefully balanced on the edge of his seat, L carelessly swirls his coffee with a spoon. Finger and fore thumb moving in a tireless circle as coal eyes smoulder the entryway for a familiar head of scruffy black hair. Watari had supplied him with less than substantial information on his current anomaly, but enough to predict the time and place his target would be in periods of the week.

[Not that L would admit it out loud – Watari unable to supply an adequate background check on someone unsettled him.

And also really, really interested him – in a way akin to Light only without the mass murder. He hopes. Because despite popular opinion, L doesn't like examining corpses every day.]

The door opens, a bell chimes, and L stops stirring.

"Oh! Sasuke-kun~" The cashier perks up and L isn't surprised. The trend in the young man's account points to the majority of his earnings being spent here. At this exact time. This boy was proving to be more predictable than he had previously thought. L raises his coffee to his lips, hiding a smirk.

Taking a sip, L immediately reaches for the sugar.

This boy's tastebuds are evil.

. | .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review (:


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